Jack of All Trades- Technoblade Love Story

[ Ｃ Ｈ Ａ Ｐ Ｔ Ｅ Ｒ Ｔ Ｈ Ｉ Ｒ Ｔ Ｙ－Ｓ Ｅ Ｖ Ｅ Ｎ ]

I shook and cried as the group walked away.

It was just like earlier when the world left empty and lonely, and I felt so, so cold. My head started to spin, and it felt like the world was trembling beneath me. My body ached as I got somehow colder than before. I choked on my tears, gasping to try to get air into my lungs. A voice was faint in the background but I chose not to listen to it as I struggled to breathe.

All of a sudden, it was like a plug had been removed from my throat and I could breathe again, and I sat up in my bed panting and drenched with sweat.

I looked over to Techno beside me, he had barely moved since I had fallen asleep. I glanced at the clock, it was only 3am but I didn't feel like going back to sleep. I reached my hand out towards where Techno laid still, but stopped myself. I had already woken him up in the middle of the nights once from my problems. Two voices echoed in my head, one being Wil's and the other was my mother's. They both spoke at the same time, but I already knew what both of them would say, the memories both engraved in my head.

 "You matter to me more than anybody else in the world and i'm sure Techno would happily stay up all night every night if it meant you wouldn't ever be upset."

"You're such a smart girl, bringing home all those tests with big A's on the front. You know it's just a silly dream, you're not stupid so stop bothering people with stupid things."

It was like having an angel and demon on your shoulder, and the scariest part was I didn't know which was which. I tried to silence my breathing which was becoming heavy once again, and after a while I just left and went up to my room.

I still couldn't bear the thought of going back to sleep, so I ended up changing into day clothes and inspected myself in the mirror. As I pinched the parts of my stomach that were too fatty for my preference out of habit, I frowned at the person I saw in the mirror. I didn't look right, I didn't look happy. I didn't feel good about myself and it showed in the insecure frown I couldn't seem to wipe from my face.

What was I doing? This felt like the moment in the books where the girl had a slap-in-the-face realization about what she was meant to do, but it just wasn't there for me. I moved over to the bed, standing for so long had become tiring and I didn't want to pass out on the floor.

I was determined to stay awake, so I ended up back working on my embroidery project. The simple and repetitive activity was soothing once again, but I was more careful to not prick my finger, especially while covering up the small blood stain on the otherwise clean fabric with a pretty leaf.

I couldn't help but wonder if the dream was meant to be my conscience telling me what the right thing to do would be, letting them all go from my problems and allowing them to be happy. As much as the look of hatred I would never be able to fully erase from my mind hurt, it was even worse to see him always so worried about me.

I remember his face outside the ice cream shop when I wasn't responding to anything. I couldn't describe the way his face contorted, it was the closest he had ever looked to crying since I had met him. He looked helpless in the worst way possible.

Nobody should feel that way about me.

Nobody should care that much for me, why didn't they realize that? What did I bring to the table? Wilbur's voice echoed in my head again. "You matter more to me more than anybody else in the world." It made me feel warm and fuzzy, but the fact that he cared so much for me was still hurting in the back of my brain.

I looked down to the fabric, it was a giant piece and I had made so many flowers I couldn't count them all. It was a beautiful monument to my pain and I inspected it before putting it back into my suitcase.

It was 7am already, so I went downstairs to make something to eat for the group. Techno was surprisingly the first downstairs, and I sent him a little wave from the kitchen where I was making a hash. I would usually give him a good morning peck on the cheek or something, but today I just continued chopping up the vegetables. 

He sat at the kitchen table, not overly off-put by my lack of affection but instead sniffing the aromas of my cooking. "I don't deserve you..." He joked, his voice still weathered and gruff from the sleep he had just woken from. "You deserve even more..." I muttered, flipping the potatoes without even looking up at him. "How are you doing? You're up pretty early..." he spoke softly, the concern he was trying to mask still showing through.

"I only woke up about a half hour ago, I got hungry I guess..." It felt wrong to lie, but I didn't want to tell him the truth.

I ignored the shaking in my hands and the insistent tugging down of my eyelids as I finished the food. As I brought a plate to Techno, I still couldn't shake the image of the hatred in his eyes from my dream. As much as I wanted to crawl into his arms and tell him everything, I knew that would be selfish so I instead returned to the pan of food to dish out servings to the sleepy and hungry people descending the stairs.

I had the feeling it wasn't going to be a great day.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚗𝚎."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

𝟙𝟘𝟛𝟝 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤

𝟘𝟚/𝟘𝟙/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟙

ℙ𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕍𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕃𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖 𝕡𝕝𝕫!! ;-;