Captivated

The Vows

For @RAYNABEARR Your comments really made me smile ❤️

-Three days till the ceremony -

I sat on the ledge, feeling numb. My body felt sore and stiff as my muscles burned from sitting on the hard ledge for so long. Sighing, I leant my forehead against the cooling panels of the glass watching with a sense of melancholy as the raindrops trickled down the glass against the grey, sombre sky set as the background. They seemed to race against each other in a pointless pursuit before finally mingling into one large reservoir of liquid pooling on the outside ledge and then, dropping down the great distance to the far ground below.

The pitter-patter of the rain did little to soothe my aching soul but matched my depressive mood. It was quite gloomy outside with only the telltale dark figures of the guards on patrol. They never get a break, did they? I had never been unable to catch a single moment where there was no one in the forest or the grounds which made any form of escape much, much harder.

I wrung my hands together nervously. A pattern had been established. I had to remain cooped up into my room during the night until Jacob fetched me for whatever purposes, generally before midday. I had never actually had a day alone and I knew today wouldn't be any different. I had slept little last night, and my appearance felt haggard and fatigued but I honestly didn't care much. There was no need for me to impress Mikhail or these people.

I did wonder why Jacob was acting so weird with me last night. Maybe he overheard my conversation with Kaira and felt bad for calling me a whore. Or maybe he wanted to apologise again. Either way, I didn't care.

I strummed my fingers on the chilled panes of the window, impatiently. I didn't feel safe during the day. I was only ever alone at night so I needed the day to be over as soon as possible. But there was no avoiding this so I wanted to get it all over with and hide back in the lonely refuge of my room.

Groaning, I stretched out my stiff arms. Jacob would probably come to get me any minute now.

Knock, knock.

Bingo. I dropped down from the ledge and schooled my face into a neutral expression. 'Never let emotions get the best of you', my mother had always said. 'Always remain level headed and calm'. So that was my approach. Act as if I didn't give a shit. People like Mikhail fed of negative emotions like fear and misery. They thrived in it. So the best emotion would be no emotion at all.

I opened the door to see Jacob with his mouth open as if he were about to say something which he closed rather quickly as soon as he saw me.

"And where might I have the honour of going today?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

"The Alpha's office", he responded, hesitantly. "You need to rehearse the Vows for the ceremony".

"Great", I replied. "Shall we go?"

Without waiting for an answer, I strode off along the already annoyingly familiar route to his office. I noticed that the people had hardly gotten used to my presence and I stuck out much like a sore thumb. I marched on anyway, ignoring their question stares.

"Wait", Jacob called out as we neared Mikhail's office. "What happened yesterday-"

"I already said I would keep my mouth shut", I cut in, impatiently. "Stop bothering me about it".

I looked at him floundering about, trying to find words. I was surprised to see him like that but my sense of anger was too great to accommodate his needs. Sighing, I turned to the door and knocked to announce my presence with a heavy sense of dread weighing my heart down.