Dealing With A Muslimah{Complete} #Wattys2017

T W E N T Y - S I X

Enjoy!

Recap:

'Roses are red, violets are blue, you are a whore, and I'm coming for you'

I read the message and my phone dropped out of my hands. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was scared. I was threatened and I couldn't do anything about it. Who could it be? I'm not sure but I was already in some deep things and now this to. Ya Allah! Why is this happening to my life? Why am I so hopeless? What happened to the strong Zahrah everyone once knew. I dropped my face to the pillow and started crying loudly. But loud so that my dad isn't disturbed.

I wiped away my tear stained cheeks, ignoring the fact that my life is under a threat. And went to bed. But it was as if sleep doesn't exist. But then something came to my mind. I have to tell someone about this. Maybe the police?

'No Zahrah, tell someone your close to, someone you may trust' my inner voice told me. The only name that started spinning in my mind was Iyfaaz. But I don't trust him. Or do I?

'You sure do' the voice came back.

"No no no you don't." I said to myself. But it was a lie. I still do trust him. My heart still tells me to share it with him.

I got up from bed again and did wudu*. To pray some nafal* salah and pray for my safety.

Once I was done, I came on bed and unlocked my phone. Dialing Iyfaaz's number, I waited for him to pick up.

...

"Iyfaaz." My voice came out very low, as tears ran down my cheeks in a speed. He finally picked up the call.

"Zahrah! Zahrah what's wrong?" He asked. I could tell he was worried and was panicking. But my voice wasn't coming out. I was sobbing very loudly into my pillow.

"Iy...faa..zz" my voice shuddered. I couldn't stop crying. I was so scared. I know I'm supposed to be a strong, hard-working women, but after all these problems that have been happening I just can't stand the pain anymore. It was like not slowly but quickly, my world was shattering into pieces. I'm at the point that I feel helpless but then again, Allah is always with me.

"Zahrah, don't be scared. Tell me what's wrong." he asked once again. I wiped my tears away and tried speaking.

"I..I...I go-got a te-xt from some- someone and it, it's like a... like a threat." I slowly said.

"Hey, calm down everything will be alright, send me the number." he said.

But again I thought, why am I trusting the man who put me in pain. Someone who punished me. Someone who bothered me. But then he was the only one. If I tell my father. No, I can't tell him. He is already sick and is living a tough life. I can't put a burden of tension on him. I wiped my last few tears and brought the strong Zahrah back.

"It was an unknown number, don't worry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have disturbed you." I said calming down.

"Zahrah, I know I don't have the right but I am the person that will always be there for you. You have to share this with someone. Please do those it from me. I know you don't trust me, but I will only help. I promise." I shouldn't trust him. But each word he said was as if it came straight from his heart.

What happened to the I- am-an-ass-and-I-don't-care Iyfaaz?

What's the reason for these changes?

I am left confused. But there must be a reason behind this. People don't change in just a snap of hands.

"Hello, Zahrah are you there?" Iyfaaz said. I was in such deep thoughts that I forgot to answer him.

"Im sorry, what were you saying?" I asked apologizing.

"I was letting you know that I will always be there for you. You are in safe hands. Don't worry yourself everything will be alright. And I actually mean it." he said calmly.

I smile spread on my face with his words. They were really something. His words took the fear of the incident and the fear of everything else away. They made me feel safe. Safer then ever before.

"Okay, thank you." I said plainly. Just because his words are very trustworthy and meaningful, that doesn't mean I can forgive him for what he did right away.

"And Zahrah?" He asked.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Forgive me please. I really regret." he said. Yet again, I felt as his words carried regret.

"Give me sometime." I said lowly.

"As you wish. Don't worry at all and read the kalimah* and sleep listening to Surat Rahman. Or you could read it. It will make you feel better. Inshallah you'll be fine." Oh jeez! This man is too much. One day he's jamming to loud rap music and now he's my Islamic teacher. So, he does pray? Shocking indeed. This brought laughter to me and I let out a small laugh.

"May I ask why your laughing?" He said. As my mood started to lighten up.

"Oh I was just think of something." I said. I'm NOT lying I was thinking about him.

"Okay?" He said questionably.

"Hmm." I replied.

"Alright then Allah Hafiz. And do think about my words. Thank you for talking it out to me." he said.

"I will. Allah Hafiz." I replied and the call went shut. But after this call I wasn't as upset. It made me happy. Glad to know that there is some care left in his heart for me. Even behind the monster he was.

I pulled the duvet onto me. Closed my side lamp. As sleep finally took me in.

---

I know it's very late and short but a lot has been going on in my family. My moms aunt passed away. Also my family were at Umra and they returned. ALOT more and most of all studies are killing me!!! So please forgive me.

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Lovecare16