three a.m. | jeon jungkook

080

hana's pov

i'm trying to reach for the pillow in jungkook's hand, but his arm is too long that i have to get up on my knees to get it. suddenly i feel my left knee getting in between the couch's cushioned seats, and it makes me loose my balance.

eventually i start leaning forwards and to save myself i reach out for what i think is the back of the sofa, but my hand slips and grabs jungkook's shoulder instead. he gets pushed down by my hand, and falls on his back with me on top of him.

our eyes meet, and i can feel his warm breath against my face. i notice his left hand has been placed on my waist from trying to catch me from falling, but he doesn't remove it.

suddenly it feels like time has stopped, and all i can hear is my heartbeat getting faster. i can feel the blood rushing to my face, and all my brain can think about is kissing him. we don't break the eye-contact, and he doesn't even bother to push me off of him.

there's not a single word coming out of neither ones mouths, but the way his eyes wander down to my lips is enough for me to understand that we both are thinking about the same thing.

with puckered lips and closed eyes, my head tilts to the right and i lean forward. his right hand is on the back of my ear down my neck, while his thumb slowly strokes my cheek. 

when my lips finally graze those beautiful lips of his, my mind goes blank. all i feel is the butterflies in my stomach and the rush of dopamine kicking in. 

the kiss starts out soft and gentle, but further into it, the kiss gets more heated. his hand slips under my sweatshirt, and the sudden touch of his cold hand on my waist sends shivers down my spine, and i accidentally let out a little sigh.

the only sound that could be heard in the room is the movie playing in the background that nobody's paying attention to, and the smacking sounds of our lips. 

this is so wrong, but it feels so right...

i give him one last kiss before leaning back and opening my eyes, and as i look at him, a jolt of worry and overthinking takes over my brain.

"i-i'm sorry i can't..", i say as i get off of him and hastily stand up.

"why, what's wrong?", he asks confused of the sudden change in my mood.

"it's nothing...i'm gonna go to sleep", i say and give him a faint smile.

i turn around and walk away, but he grabs my wrist and stops me from leaving.

"no, we should talk about this. did i do something wrong?" , he says with a worried look on his face, and i shake my head.

"no it's not that, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just...it's complicated", i sigh.

"what's complicated?", he asks, and i wish i could just tell him right now what i mean, but i need time to explain it to him without fucking it all up. 

"i'll explain it to you some other time, i promise. i'm just too tired right now", i say as i remove his hand that's still gripping onto my wrist. 

we say goodnight and i head over to his bedroom while he stays on the couch, even though i told him it was fine with me if he came with me. 

i slept poorly that night, even though his bed was actually very warm and comfortable. but it was my brain that kept me up all night. i couldn't stop replaying what had happened on the sofa, and the way our bodies were so, so close. even so our faces, and the kiss. 

god, the kiss was perfect...

the next day i decided to take a taxi back home early in the morning. i needed to clear my mind.
i left him a little note on his night stand that said, "i decided to go home early, but thanks for letting me stay the night :)".

i know it's pretty old school, but my phone died right after i had called for a taxi so i couldn't text him to thank him for everything.

i went home that day knowing that i had screwed up, because all that thinking led up to one thing.

i have feelings for jungkook.