Difficult

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Theo's pov:
I shouldn't have said that to her. It's been 4 days and every day I think about what I said. I regret everything. The way her face changed as I spat all those words at her haunts me. I saw her cry before and I know she doesn't cry rarely so seeing her don't cry and just look at me like she's empty inside makes me want to punch myself. I didn't realize what I've done until she said 'I can't do this anymore'. It's like I snapped out of my rage.

I thought she was going to break up with me. I've never been so scared to lose someone. I already saw myself losing her forever. Every word I said replayed in my head and I wondered how I ended up like that. This rage was inside of me for weeks.

It just made sense that she cheated. I mean I always knew she would never but when she suddenly didn't want me to touch her I became suspicious. Why the fuck wouldn't she let me touch her out of nowhere. It just doesn't make any sense.

And then the next thing I see is them talking, laughing and him flirting. She flirted too but I know she doesn't know.

They were getting closer and closer and couldn't do shit about it because she was actually getting better. How selfish would it have been if I ruined her mood just because I'm jealous.

It all accumulated until Tyler pushed me over the edge and I let everything out...out on her.

I should've continued punching Tyler and let it out on him because he's the problem not her. I know she didn't cheat. So why the fuck would I blame everything on her.

I hope she isn't blaming herself. I hope she's doing okay. I keep asking myself if I should check on her. She said she needs a break and I want to respect that but I'm seriously worried. She wasn't in school for three days now. What makes me slightly less worried is that Liv wasn't in school too. I think she visited her.

But I still want to see her myself. I want to apologize and I want to make up for everything. I'll do everything for her to forgive me.

But what if she doesn't let me. What if I was right about the break thing...that she's definitely going to break up with me but needs more time to think about it. I can't give her that time. I honestly waited long enough and it didn't do shit so I might just try talking to her.

~

Lia's pov:
„You're making yourself something to eat?" My Mom comes downstairs. I thought she left. „Not really, just grabbing an apple" I grab the green apple from the fruit bowl. „I can make you your favourite porridge or a fruit salad" she offers and already opens the fridge. „Maybe a fruit salad" I'm glad she even offered and doesn't ignore me.

„So..." she hesitates for a second. „Is everything alright? I didn't see you these past days" she grabs the fruit bowl to select some fruits. „Yeah I'm alright" I lazily lean against the counter. „But you're not in school, are you?" she turns around to see my face. „No, I'm just not feeling that good." I shrug it off. „But you just said you were alright" she tilts her head. „I meant mentally. I'm not feeling good physically. I think I stayed to long outside on Friday, it was a little cold" I explain hoping it was convincing.

„Did Liv catch a cold too? Because she visited you and wasn't in school" she continues cutting the fruit in little cubes. „Uh yes but she's in school today" I lie straight to her face. „Should I make you a tea too then?" she doesn't wait for an answer and picks out a tea and grabs a mug, my favourite mug.

„Without honey or sugar" I say before she can even think of putting it into my tea. „Did you eat something for breakfast?" that is literally my breakfast. „I just woke up" I scratch the back of my head, feeling a little embarrassed. „Oh okay" she takes a quick look at the clock which is next to our fridge on the wall. It's 1pm. I'm definitely a late sleeper but not that late.

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