What's home, if not the first place you run away from? What's love, if not that unexplainable, blazing feeling which comes after a period of hate?
Reputable for her catchy appearance, her over-niceness, her obsession with cartoon animations and her...
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Eminem ft. Billie Eilish - Don't Cry.
~
THE DEATH OF A loved one is enough to make a man lose his mind.
The last time I ever got drunk was when my papa died eleven years ago. He never really liked liquor. He took some shots of whiskey every now and then, but he never got drunk—said doing so made men stupid and senseless. He was right.
In my opinion, that was the day I became a man. I threw some things away and made a new life for myself. I made life-altering decisions that day. I swore oaths to myself. Oaths that I seldom get tempted to break...until few days ago.
Anger.
Pure, raw, ever-growing, raging anger.
Sadness.
Deep, gut wrenching, soul twisting, agonizing sadness.
Pain.
The last time I ever felt so strongly was also when my papa died.
Take care of Taylor. I know I don't deserve to ask anything of you, but she's alone in the world right now. And you're the only one I trust, Davian.
Those were my papa's last words to me before he died, and I've failed him. Even moreso, I've failed Taylor.
I grew up in the midst of sin, chaos, blood and violence. In my past, those things were acceptable, they were the things men rubbed shoulders about and made bets with. But then, Taylor was introduced into my life; she was warm and serene and everything in-between, and she made me want to become a better man.
I wasn't supposed to like her. I was supposed to dislike her, considering the insufferable amount of pain her mama brought upon mine, but fuck, it was impossible to hate such a little girl with wild eyes and a mellow heart who pestered me and clung to me like moth would a flame.
She wasn't brought up like I was; she was whisked into my world without her own permission because her mama fell in love with my papa, and I could tell she hated it. She hated it, but she never let her emotions inconvenience any of her family members.
As soon as my papa died though, she made it obvious how much she wanted to leave. It wasn't easy, but it was something I had to do; not just for her, for my entire family. I abandoned the life my papa built for us in Montréal and strived to make a better, safer life for us outside of the confines of all the malice.
All my efforts are currently futile though...fucking futile, because after eleven fucking years of accomplishing all that I have...after eleven years of keeping my loved ones safe, I lost my sister to the mysterious clutches of death.
Poof. Like someone snapped his fingers and took her from me. God. Or maybe, it wasn't even Him. Doctor Alaina.
That woman caused me pain. She hurt me beyond measure. She tied me to a figurative railing and sashayed away, leaving me to roll around like a pig in my own misery as I await the dastardly clutches of pain and death from whatever train will run me over.
