What's home, if not the first place you run away from? What's love, if not that unexplainable, blazing feeling which comes after a period of hate?
Reputable for her catchy appearance, her over-niceness, her obsession with cartoon animations and her...
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Celine Dion ft. Peablo Bryson - Beauty And The Beast.
~
BEFORE I WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT, I prayed. And that's saying something because while I'm ashamed of the fact, I don't usually pray.
I prayed because I wanted two things from God.
Number one, I wanted protection for myself and everyone I love. That's a given.
Number two, I wanted to stop feeling these things for my boss.
While I was enlarged to the seams with unexplainable sensations and threatening to explode from apprehension, Mr. Ash was so composed and mean throughout our entire conversation as I treated him.
I was near to developing HBP for a man who couldn't give a fuck about me even if he got offered a check to do so.
The only thing that showed me he was at least affected by my presence was the huge dent in his sweatpants.
When he tugged on my camisole, I was shocked, but when his erection brushed my clothed labia folds, I was stupefied. It was so big, so long...so warm when he slammed it into me for the shortest of seconds, and it was all mine. I was the reason for his hard-on. He was turned on, massively, because of me.
I didn't even feel the sense of achievement I felt yesterday night when I got my diploma. I made Mr. Ash horny. The pride I felt - feel - can fill a drum and spill over.
It's not very feminist of me, but boy, am I delighted in the fact that I got a man like him to physically react to me, despite his deep hatred for me. It's even more not feminist of me that I want us to be in such position again.
A position where I can feel his heat on my skin, taste his scent on my tongue and give in to all my twisted desires unabashedly.
Christ. Mr. Ash is too handsome for my own good; everything about him yells perfection, and I guess I somehow want to partake in that perfection, physically; even though I know that I'll end up less perfect than I currently am after he's done with me.
I know he'll wreck me. If not because of his bitter hatred for me, then it'll because he's not the kind of guy I ever want to associate myself with. He's an embodiment of everything I physically want, but characteristically don't. He's so rough around the edges, while I'm like a balloon. He'll pop me mercilessly if I let him get close to me more than I should.
I'm aware of all these things, but I still want him. Last night was evidence enough.
God, what the fuck is actually wrong with you, Alaina? What?
I don't even know how I managed to text my mum or Jason or Paul last night.
While talking with my beloved mother, I begged her to tell grandpa to keep the business with Mr. Ash going in spirit of my 'two wrongs can't make a right' anthem. She sent me a bold, candid, "NO."
