What's home, if not the first place you run away from? What's love, if not that unexplainable, blazing feeling which comes after a period of hate?
Reputable for her catchy appearance, her over-niceness, her obsession with cartoon animations and her...
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Giveon - For Tonight.
~
I LOCKED MY DOOR IMMEDIATELY I left Mr. Ash in the dining room because I didn't want a repeat of what happened that morning—I woke up staring at a tray filled with pretty daisies, a box of white chocolate, pain meds, a glass of orange juice, and another note. It said the same thing the others said. Nothing special.
I might not act like it, but I like seeing his hand-written notes. His handwriting is horribly funny, and it makes me see him not just as a thirty-three year old, untouchable billionaire, but as what he actually is: a man...with feelings. Yeah, the feelings part shocked me too.
Mr. Ash actually has a soft side to him that's not only reserved for his mama and his sister. And my subconscious was right, it does feel good to be at the receiving end of his kindness; probably even too good.
It was horrible of me, but it felt exhilarating having him kneel for me and beg with his hands on my thighs, then on my face, wiping my tears away, pulling at my lip and touching me like I was all he needed at the moment. Fuck, I liked it. A small, evil part of me relished and thrived in the fact I'm probably the first girl he's gotten on his knees to beg.
He finally apologized to me, and he did it better than I would have ever imagined, but it's not...enough. It's obvious he regrets everything he did and he cares enough to try to make it up to me, but an apology isn't enough to compensate everything he did to me. It's not even close enough, despite the fact that he did it repetitively and on his knees.
That's why I made that promise to him yesterday night to give him a chance to make it up to me, regardless of his mama's words and my friends' words of me growing attached to him which were churning in my head and in my heart; regardless of the fact that I know that if I keep giving Mr. Ash that chance to get close to and be nice to me, my friends are going to make cash off of me and I might just come out of this situation with a shattered heart.
But in a bid to save my head and heart the emotional peril and everything else associated with it, I made him agree to my condition of no sex. And thank God he said he was game; I know he didn't want to agree to my mental schedule nonsense which I cooked up before I went to bed two nights ago, but he did, and I'm relieved, because I know he never goes back on his words.
I want him so bad it physically hurts, but I can't have him.
I'm not ready to view him any more than my tyrant ex-boss, and if we fuck continuously, doesn't that make us some sort of friends-with-benefits? Stress on the friends.
His touches are so fucking addictive. They make me feel the same way I felt after having sex with him: sweet and sappy, like we are slowly leaving the enemies zone. Or work-buddies-with-benefits zone as my friends tried to term it.
