Mine; Ryeji FF

Chapter 25: Disconnected.

Losing someone you love is possibly one of the worst feelings you would ever encounter in your lifetime. Losing them unexpectedly makes it a little easier to deal with— being unprecedented, on the other hand, knowing that you are going to lose someone... That's the hardest. Though you are able to spend more time with them creating more beautiful memories, the burden still lingers. Like a dark cloud in a clear summer day. Many people tend to distance themselves of that person, knowing that the pain of them leaving eventually will hurt even more. That was what Yeji was doing, she was spending Ryujin's last days away from her, trying to shield herself from the pain. It was safer for her because how can she act happy and cheerful around her? How could she ignore the fact that one day, she would never be able to see Ryujin smile, her laugh, her touches... Now that the day was approaching quicker than Yeji can process, she couldn't help but to feel even more pain, she knew the regret was speeding towards her but either way, she couldn't bear to see Ryujin.

"Yej, you alright?", Lia stood in front of her desk, concerned her her worker's well being.

"If I say yes, would you believe me?", she said expressionless.

"No, but I believe you should go home. Take a break, take Ryujin out.", Yeji quinced listening to her girlfriend's name, all the pain rushing back to her. Lia noticed Yeji's reaction to Ryujin's name so she discreetly texted Chaeryeong asking her to come to the company.

Soon after, Chaeryeong arrives and walks into Lia's office. Words were exchanged with quick glances towards Yeji who was resting her head on the table. Chaeryeong walked over to her desk and tapped it to get the fashion designer's attention.

"Get up, we are going to get coffee and you are going to talk to me.", she crossed her arms.

"I don't wanna.", she placed her head back on the table.

"I'm going to count to 3. 1... 2..."

"Okay Okay, let's go.", Yeji hesitantly got up and packed her bag. They headed out to the cafe beside the company, ordering coffee. Walking to the park and taking a seat on the bench, Chaeryeong sensed the troubled aura radiating off Yeji. Not wanting to pressure her best friend, she sat there patiently waiting for her to vent. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, she told Chaeryeong everything. From how she met Ryujin, to the first time they touched, to the encounter Ryujin had with her grandfather and how she had been distancing herself from her. Chaeryeong sat there, overwhelmed with everything that came out of her mouth. She took a moment to process everything before speaking.

"As much as I understand where you're coming from with distancing yourself from Ryujin but have you tried to understand her perspective?", Chaeryeong calmly said while taking a sip of her mocha.

"Not really.", Yeji voice was still shaky.

"Think about it like this, the end is slowly creeping up to you. You want to tell Ryujin but whenever you are about to speak up about it, you are just seeing her smile. Do you really want to see that smile vanish from her face? Or have the last several days having Ryujin avoid you because she is scared to lose you?", Chaeryeong looked over to her best friend and held her hand. Yeji keeps quiet knowing that that was exactly what's happening at that moment.

"I know that you're scared to lose people because you lost so many people. Especially your parents not giving you the attention you needed since your childhood. You depended on your grandparents, they became your rock, people you can rely on. But with your grandmother gone and your grandfather becoming a total stranger to you, the only person you are relying on is Ryujin. Now that she's leaving you against her will, you are shielding yourself from the pain again. Thinking it's better to get hurt now, rather than later.", It hit Yeji, hard. The reason that  she had been putting a barrier between her and Ryujin was because she was afraid of the wounds that would reopen once she leaves.

"Even then, you should be with her. No matter how much it hurts, she needs you there. She's scared of losing you too. I know that she loves you so much and she doesn't want to leave but it's evident. I'm sure that she wants you in her last moments.", Chaeryeong finishes what she says and wrap her arms around her best friend. Yeji turned and cried into her shoulder. She had to go home, put aside her fears and just hold her lover.
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The fashion designer returned home, hoping to see her sitting on the couch. She wasn't there. Yeji walked around the penthouse hoping to see Ryujin, her nervousness building up inside her the longer she searched. Where is she?! Did she leave?! Yeji's nervousness turns into panic as she saw the book opened on the dining table. Running to the book, she flipped through the pages hoping that she was not in there. To her relief, the page was empty. She sat at the table with her head facing the ceiling, Fuck.. where is she. If this is how I'm feeling now, how am I going to survive the rest of my life without her... Her tears dripped onto the tiles.