Hell's Book of Random One-shots

You're Here, With Me - Bucky Barnes - Marvel - Request by Lya_Helios

It wasn't unusual for her to be unable to sleep at night, too many memories chased one another and created a noisy chaos in her head, making it impossible some nights to lie down and let the world pass in slumber like most people.

One night, though, proved catastrophically different despite starting as similarly as any other with no sleep and a trip to the kitchen to get some cold water to quench her parched mouth.

The compound was as still as ever, the night being one of her favourite times due to the silence it offered, a rare break for all of her senses, a chance to escape from the constant high alert of life otherwise.

Time seemed to stand still when the world was dark and silent and, if she were to be completely honest, she'd have preferred things to remain as tranquil as the unsociable hours of the early morning.

Unfortunately, life had to continue on as routine, but she would always bask in the solitary early hours.

Leaning against the counter with her glass, the other hand holding onto the edge of the counter, she took slow sips while staring out the window into the night, watching the spattering of cars driving by and the shifting lights as people went about their lives at this unusual hour.

Everything was peaceful and a serene calm settled across the room, letting her mind wander to wherever she wished it to.

Not that it had a chance to wander far.

As she was nearing the end of her current glass, her mind off in far lands and memories of adventures she adored, something crashed, a violent bang following shortly after and alarms cut too loudly into the dead of night.

Someone screamed.

It could have been her or it could have come from outside, either way it shattered the night further and cut into her like the shards of glass from the glass she had dropped to cover her ears.

Pleasant thoughts crashed into chaotic flashes that she only ever worked to repress as she crouched down, ducking her head and covering the back of her neck with her hands as she curled into herself.

Everything turned hazy around her.

Sound became muffled and her sight, which had adjusted to the darkness long before she stepped out of her designated room, turned blurry.

Everything outside went silent again, all but the distant sound of sirens, not that that stopped any of the flashes that danced across her vision nor the sounds that rang in her ears through years of memories that refused to be boxed away and buried.

Missions she had been forced into, actions she had never wanted to take and rigorous training that was more torture than actual exercises to gain skills.

Everything crashed into her in one go and she found herself paralysed on the kitchen floor, knowing where she was but being unable to convince herself that no harm was coming to her.

She wasn't sure how long she had been hunched into herself for certain, but it was long enough for her whole body to start aching with the need to stand upright and yet, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

A sudden presence appeared to her left and she let out a soft gasp, her shoulders flinching as she noticed that someone settling beside her somewhere in the chaos of her past horrors was actually happening.

"Hey," a quiet voice all but whispers to her, managing to break through the cascade of terrible memories, "I'm here, I've got you, Doll."

The flashes of memories didn't abate, but his voice did mingle in with them, cutting through them bit by bit as he continued to speak to her in soft and affectionate terms, his hand rubbing up and down her arm in slow and repetitive motions.

It took her a moment to recognise who was pulling her out of her stupor, but a pang came to her chest when she realised who it was.

"B-Bucky?" She gasped, her breath still feeling laboured in her tight chest.

"You back with me?"

"Who is it?" She asked, her voice panicked as her eyes darted about. "Are we under attack? Is everyone okay?"

"Hey, it's okay...we're all fine, nothing is happening, there was a minor crash outside but everyone is safe and sound in their beds so I need you to focus on me and only me, okay?"

She takes a gasped breath, trying to get control of herself as tears blur her eyes.

"Is it okay if I touch you?" Bucky asked, his eyes glancing down to where her hands had fallen after she'd let go of her head, her fingers clasped tightly together.

She couldn't muster up words, so merely nodded quickly, eyes staring towards the floor through the darkness.

He slipped an arm around her shoulders, easing her into relaxing against him as he continued to gently guide her into settling down enough to release her muscles from their tense grip.

"I need you to focus on me, okay?" He said, tilting his head to look at her as best as he could.

He waited patiently for her eyes to meet his, a sparkle of tears illuminated in the darkness as they swam unshed on the edges of her eyelids.

"You're not there anymore, you're here...safe and sound with me and the rest of the team, we won't let anything happen to you."

She gave another brief nod, curling into him in a way she hadn't with anyone else, though it was rare for others to see her in this condition.

Bucky looked down at her with a soft frown, his arm rubbing her side in soothing motions as he continued to mumble soft reassurances as he waited for her breathing to settle.

"Hey," he said, a sudden strike of inspiration coming to him, "do me a favour."

She managed to glance up at him before she noticed him pulling his prosthetic arm to rest over his lip, the hand settling on her wrist with the moon catching the metal in such a way that it was clearly visible and glinted in places.

"Count the segments."

Her brows furrowed as she stared at his arm, her lips parting to question him only to be cut off by a huffed chuckle.

"Just trust me, Doll, I've had to do this for myself enough."

She stared at the offered arm, her eyes only briefly breaking the hold when they flickered up to meet his in the dim light.

"Really?" She asked, sounding breathless and tight-chested.

"Unfortunately so," Bucky nodded with a wry smile, "maybe I'll tell you about it another time, for now I need you to relax, stay with me and count."

Biting her lip tightly, she gave a brief nod and held delicately onto his arm, her other hand raising to trace where she was focusing on, the numbers coming out as mumbles mixed with occasional sniffs.

Bucky watched in silence unless she seemed to be slipping again, then he'd coax her back with gentle reassurances.

Together, they sat on that floor until the sun started to light up the room, their backs against a counter and his arm around her as she held his prosthetic one, no longer counting, but simply holding to ground herself there.

He hadn't moved and wouldn't until she was ready, as he would have liked for others to do when he needed them the most but no one was there.