Luck in a Sense (Illumi x Reader)

Luck

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  "So, we're lucky to have 'found' each other?" He asked. I was explaining love to him.

  "In a sense," I shrugged.

  He was deep in thought for a moment.

  "And when I have an erection?"

  Don't say anything crazy.

  "Lust, two different things," I explained, forcing away the blush with a look to the side. We sat in our hotel room, a new one, much classier, a wider space, a lighter shade.

  He nodded, creasing his brow in thought.

  I loved this... that he was trying.

  "I want to kiss you," I admitted, feeling along the white couch cushion.

  "But you won't, why?" He touched my lips. I lost my breath.

  I can't... "I'm not sure, and we have to go,"

  His mind was sure of loyalty above all else, it was the only thing he practiced for so many years. There was no reluctance in his nod when it came to duty. "Let's go,"

  Our last mission together. We were both sure.

  "The NGL," I began,

  "There is an underground hotel that breaks all the rules. That's the biggest operation I know of. I was invited there once to honor my work," we sat in the back of a Ford Van, our driver blocked by a small, openable window.

  I suggested we dress up for the occasion. His suit was simple, like him. My dress, just a dress I guess.

  "You look beautiful,"

  I smirked. What's he up to?

  I was watching out the tinted windows. His breath sounded above the bumps in the road. Oh, Illumi you dog. Here? In the back of this van.

  I squeezed my thighs together, letting the fantasies swirl in my mind.

  I got a terrible idea.

  "Having trouble?" I teased, knowing what was happening. I felt it too. Such privacy yet such danger. I kept my eyes out the window.

  "Yes..." he admitted.

  "Come here, Illumi." A terrible thing for me to do, but how can I resist? I have to tease.. just a bit. That's all.

  Like a dog, he came.

  I met his gaze.

  He took his breaths through the nose trying to stabilize himself as if he were in training, but the rise in his system was self-inflicted. I kept my composure better.

  "Closer," my finger on his chin.

  "Lust," He said, followed by my name.

  "Yes," I swooned. By the gods, I want him more than anything has ever wanted anything, but this wasn't right of me to lead him on.

  Oh... but—

  He waited for my queue. I would give him none.

  "Don't get ahead of yourself, Illumi, mind over matter," his head dropped—to look at himself—when I took back my finger.

  I crossed my legs and turned my head to the tinted window.

  My heart ached.

  I cried.

  I know, I know, I'm a bitch for that, but if you knew how bad I wanted him to fuck the shit out of me right now, you'd cry too.

  Excuse my French.

  What does it matter anyway? I'll be dead soon.

  "A kiss, at least?" He wagered.

  Oh, I didn't expect him to respond so soon. I've got tears.

  I tried to fix my face.

  "Why are you sad?" His words were blank just as before. Just how I loved them.

  "I'm not," my voice broke, and now I couldn't look at him.

  Swift as a mouse he swung himself to the side of the car that I faced.

  "Please,"

  "Don't beg," I scoffed, trying to fight myself.

  "Do you not want to touch me, how you've done before?" He spoke plainly.

  "I'm sorry," my face was about to scrunch into an ugly cry.

  I began to laugh. Yeah, he's not about to watch me cry.

  "You're sad," his voice didn't sound so plain this time... it sounded sympathetic.

  "Illumi, we both know what's going to happen tonight. You can't love me. You can't love anything." I fixed my face to neutral.

  "Two different things," he remarked. But we both knew that this lust was a picture of our love for each other.

  Damn time. Damn it to hell.

  "Fuck!" I cried, covering my eyes with one hand.

  He sat back. Looking over at me every two minutes for less than a second. He felt guilty again.

  It's all my fault. He shouldn't feel that way. But maybe he should. Maybe this was the only way to get through this.

  I cleared my bitch throat. "We have to snap out of this. There are at least a thousand men at our next location. Most of them assassins."

  He nodded, looking away from me.

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