Shudders: Retribution

Chapter 45 - The Apology

     Fingers lifted and twirled in the air as vines of black blood intricately traveled between them. (Y/N) kept her eyes on her work but felt a drop of blood land on her cheek that slowly absorbed through her skin.

      She was back in the cage again. Laying on the floor with a pillow underneath her and her legs kicked up onto the wall.

      She felt the movement of the carrier as it was in motion. The Zone was on the move again. They were heading up north to a train yard where everyone involved on this side of the battle was to meet up. (Y/N) thought that she would feel ready and prepared to get on with the next phase and confront the Elitists.

       But now she just... felt differently about it.

      She sighed as a vine of her blood wrapped around her thumb, creating a spiral.

      Trying to ignore her broken heart wasn't working. No matter what she did, all she could think about was Yama. She was worried about him being alone out there but also still felt betrayed...

       Did he even know how important he was to her..? He was the first demon to be kind to her. The first person to make her feel safe after the horrible things she went through. She didn't want to lose someone like him. Maybe if she realized her feelings sooner and told him... he would've stayed...

       She let her arm fall onto her stomach as the blood retreated back into her body. Thinking about the what if's wasn't going to bring him back. After the battle was over and if she was still alive, maybe she could find her way back to the beach. Show him that she's alive and that she wasn't going anywhere.

       Tell him that she loved him and hopes that they can stay together. She couldn't imagine living the rest of her inevitably long life without him...

       But... if he doesn't want to. If he doesn't want to be with her...

       She could feel herself getting worked up again and pushed those thoughts away. 'Don't think about the negatives. Don't think about the negatives.'

"Are... you alright?"

       (Y/N) looked up with slight teary eyes and met the Dog's three black ones. He looked worried and sad as well. She quickly wiped her tears. "I'm- I'm alright."

"I'm sorry..." Dog muttered, sounding regretful.

        She became confused. Why was he sorry? "For what?"

"I was the one who gave you those ideas in the first place..." The spider demon spoke, sounding like an apologetic child. "I heard what happened and you always look upset now. It's my fault..."

       He was blaming himself for Yama leaving. Making (Y/N) even think about revenge and seeing how that turned out made it feel like it was his fault. (Y/N) has always been kind to him and he feels like he hurt her.

       But she immediately widened her eyes as she moved to sit up. "No no no no! You didn't do anything-"

"But I did." He cut her off. "If I hadn't given you those ideas, Yama wouldn't have a reason to leave..."

"Yama left because-" She stopped herself as her voice started to shake. "Yama left because of me... Because he's scared. He doesn't want to see me die..."

       She fell into a whisper as her eyes fell to her legs. She was becoming important to him and he didn't want to go through grieving again if something were to happen to her. He must've really believed it if it drove him away from her...

"Do you think-" She muttered. "Do you think he'll ever come back?"

       Dog wished he could say yes. But from what he knows of the doctor, once he was gone, he was gone. It could be another 20 years before they run into him again like before. But Dog didn't want to say this outlook of fear and causing the girl more pain. "I'm not sure..."

"Well, just don't think it's your fault." She muttered. "I chose to confront the Elitists despite what Yama said. You didn't do anything."

        So she wasn't mad at him? Or just a little upset? This made Dog feel relieved. He's been feeling guilty since first overhearing about what happened. He couldn't help but overthink and it pushed him toward apologizing to her. He almost chickened out of it, not wanting to risk seeing her angry at him.

"If it makes you feel any better," Dog spoke up and she glanced at him. "I can watch your back. You shouldn't be taking on the Elitists alone."

"You'll really do that?" She asked, she didn't think about how the eventual battle will go done or what her strategy even was.

       The spider demon nodded, a bit nervous. "They'll be after you the most. I don't want them getting to a friend."

       He watched her reaction from referring to her as his friend. She looked a bit surprised before a small smile graced her face. She never would've expected that from the usually shy and timid demon. Especially when he was so scared of her upon their first meeting which made sense now. She did have his old master's abilities. But hearing him call her a friend made her more happy than she realized.

       Dog jumped when she moved to hug him. It was meant to be a simple thankful hug but she soon started feeling the need for comfort and hugged him tighter.

       The poor spider demon didn't know what to do. He's never hugged anyone before. He doesn't even know how! Do his arms go around her too? Was it wrong to just stand here? What was he supposed to do?!

       But thankfully (Y/N) started to pull away and she seemed less sad than before. She had a small grateful smile instead of a frown. "I'll watch your back too. We'll keep each other safe."

       He managed to make her feel better. It wasn't what his overthinking mind thought would be the case but he felt glad to have made her smile.

"Dog, honey!"

       At the call, they both glanced toward the front where (O/N) was holding a tablet in her hands that showed a map. "Can you help me with this?"

       He quickly nodded and got up to go help you, but not before giving (Y/N) a quick goodbye.

       She waved at him and watched him leave before returning to laying back down in the cell. She was still feeling sad but talking to Dog and declaring their friendship with each other made her feel less upset. As she stared up at the cell's ceiling, she started to think about the Zone and its people. They took her in, were willing to help her and understand her, and she met those who genuinely cared about her.

       B, (O/N), Dog... They were just a few examples.

       She can see why Yama trusts them. Or at least has good feelings towards them enough to leave her in their care. It made her not want to see any of them get hurt. She was even starting to feel a sense of family from them. Something she realized she's been desperately wanting ever since hers was taken from her.

        Yama was her love and this Zone was her family.

        She'll do anything to protect them and even more to stay alive herself to find Yama again and show him that he doesn't have to fear losing her. He doesn't have to run to avoid the possibility of grieving over her. He'll never have to.

         She wasn't going to give up on him or let him leave. He loves her... and she loves him.