From The Bottom Of My Heart

I Hate You, From The Bottom Of My Heart

Dear beautiful book,

Before I do start writing things about me, I wanted to introduce myself ; People call me Sky, I cant reveal my real name since... well.. privacy i guess, and Im currently 16, I know I'm old, anyways, right now, I'm probably the happiest person on Earth, why? You'll understand as you continue reading this book. 

Now, Lets rewind to 2017, I was in this school called Radcliffe, a school which was CBSE, I was happy there as a 5th grader with many friends who actually loved me. I never wanted to leave that place I called a 'Fun haven', but my desi parents didn't seem to agree. They told me that the teachers started to become 'lazy' and the school became like a fish market with people crowding the space. This opinion of theirs caused them to search for new schools for me, a school with a different syllabus, something that allowed me to self-learn. 

I sat at home, scrolling through my phone when a text popped up on my screen. It was a message from my dad, sending me pictures of my 'new school', I remember thinking at that moment that they were only joking and weren't gonna let me join this school, I mean, it was really pretty, had a swimming pool and most activities you'd want, but it didn't have my friends or any of the comfort I'd find in my current school. I decided to ignore the messages and put my phone on silent, knowing I was still gonna stay in Radcliffe, but the next day, I found myself trying on the purple and yellow uniforms of this school called 'Vignan'. 

I was not happy bout this change, but the next day, I found myself walking in the corridors of a completely new school, I was lost, searching for my classroom, but fortunately, a Teacher found me wandering around and took me to my class. I met some new people who let me join their friend group, I still remember that I had to sit between two guys, their names are unclear, but one hated my presence and the other, well, we were good friends. I studied there for a good while, that's when I realized that the students there had horrible english, they couldn't speak good english and they got horrible marks in their tests. I remember getting 79/80 in an english test, the highest in the class while the rest of the people got 50, or 40 or something like that. 

 I remember how proud my mother was, she took me to this store and let me buy anything. I promised this guy that I would buy him a butterflow pen in exchange for this watermelon eraser which was pretty cute, he told me that if I didn't get him the pen, my mother would die since I 'mother promised'. I guess those promises never actually worked cause I kept the pen and my mother is still alive. The thing is, I felt bad giving away the pen cause my mother bought it and gave it to me with love. I couldn't just give it away, so I gave him his eraser back and I apologized, he seemed mad though. 

This school had no swimming pool like the pictures showed, but it was huge and had a lot of people too, just like Radcliffe but 100x worse, this was also a CBSE school but it was very weird. We weren't allowed to bring any yellow rice items for lunch and we had to sit outside in the sun every morning before classes started. Sitting in the sun made sense but I always wondered why yellow rice items were banned, it just made no sense! 

We had many projects and I had to work my head off, trying to perfect them. I remember that I had to make a clock for maths class, not a working one, just a model. After I worked on that clock for the entire day with the help of my parents, I was proud of what I had in my hands. The watch was made from styrofoam covered with blue paper with straws as its hands. I turned it in the next day and my teacher seemed to be impressed by it, but after a week or so, I found it lying in the corner of the class. I realized, most teachers only give us projects to torture us, not to actually teach us anything since I don't remember learning anything. 

A month had passed, I was tired of this new school, the teachers were mean to me, one called me an Indian mafia because of a broken button? I asked my parents, begged them to change my school, but they weren't willing to since it was a 'good school', but for me, it was like a government school, a public school with no good teachers and bad equipment. 

Before I knew it, 2 months had passed and I kinda got used to my new school, I had no best friends but I did talk to everybody and I was friendly. It was during Dussehra holidays, I remember watching the television along with my mum when she received a phone call from my dad, she spoke with him for a while before hanging up and turning to me, telling me something that made me jump with joy, "Sky, you aren't going to be going to this school anymore". I had been waiting for those words for a long time now, and the reason this happened was because of the PTM (parent teachers meeting). My dad went to meet my teachers and my maths teacher didn't seem to remember me at all. 

I was so happy that I called my best friend who was in Radcliffe before telling her that I was coming back to the school, but for some reason, she didn't seem too happy which definitely did bother me, but I decided to keep quiet. After the holidays were over, I had to go back to my previous school and only my best friend knew about that. I remember walking into the class and everybody was just staring at me and was like, "Omg? Sky? Why are you here" or "Omg, she's back?", I never felt more embarrassed or scared in my life before that, everybody was staring at me and I didn't know why. Me and my best friend, lets call her Valerie, started hanging out again, but she didn't give me much importance, she just replaced me with this girl Sarah, who became my enemy later on cause of how much we fought. I was sure that I was stuck here, but then, that's when I found out that my parents were still searching for a better school, a school which was better than radcliffe with a different syllabus. 

I swear I hate them, for changing my schools before I even learnt to adapt. They took care of me, but that didn't mean that they could control me, so I hate them, I hate them from the bottom of my heart.