From The Bottom Of My Heart

Another Chance?

I started struggling in my new school, not just with my social life, but even with my mental health. My happiness deteriorated and I didn't smile or try to make others happy anymore like I used to in Artion and even before that. I was an outcast whom everybody pitied. I didn't even feel like studying. I argued with my mother every time we both were home since she got mad at me since I never studied and spoke to Isa and Zia instead. 

There was this one time when the argument got so bad that I had to stay outside the house, not because she kicked me out but because I needed time to analyze my own thoughts and I didn't want to stay near my parents. I stayed outside until my dad came back home around 9pm and somehow convinced me to go back inside. I went straight to bed and fell asleep. 

The next day, I woke up extremely late and begged my parents to allow me to stay home and come with them to Artion. They were going to Artion that day to get an official TC (Transfer Certificate) and they did seem hesitant at first but they eventually agreed. We went to our school at maybe 12pm and nostalgia hit me. All those precious memories came back to me and I swear I teared up. We walked till the reception and waited for the teacher there to finish her meeting. I looked around hoping to spot one of my friends, anyone, but I failed. 

After the teacher was done with her meeting, we went to talk to her and it turned out not to be about the TC after all... it was about me rejoining the school and my eyes actually lit up with hope after hearing that. I was so excited and on the verge of crying, but of course, life is never truly happy. The teacher told us that its gonna be hard for me to join in the middle of 10th grade since 85% of the portion was already done in 9th grade which I missed. She also asked me to join CBSE. My dad looked at me before saying that I could work hard and join IGCSE since I was comfortable there, he asked the teacher if he could meet the principal to which the teacher said yes.

We had to wait for a while before going to meet the principal. It was a new principal and I was honestly kinda sad since my previous principal was really nice to me. I remember how surprised the principal was, but she said that she couldn't let me join IGCSE even after my dad assured her that I would work really hard and I'm smart. I didn't trust myself at all, but my dad did. 

He asked my principal to conduct a test for me, just to check my level and if I passed, I could join. The principal accepted and said that there would be two tests ; Maths and English. I was nervous but I was very excited. I texted Isa and Zia and asked them to call me and I told them everything. They seemed just as excited as me and I can't describe how happy I was. They both offered to help me and also shared their maths textbook with me. I studied like crazy after that.

The day of the test finally arrived and I went back to Artion again, I was very nervous but I just had to believe in myself. I sat down on a chair near the reception area and I was waiting for my papers. The teacher there told me that I couldn't use a calculator and took my calculator away. I was okay with it since my calculator didn't work anyways. I was sitting beside my dad, waiting for the papers when I saw Zia and Isa enter. They rushed towards me and hugged me, it gave me a lot of confidence. Everyone in the reception was staring at us but for once, I didn't care. 

They wished me luck and left cause of the teacher who asked them to return to their class. I was honestly disappointed cause of that, but I was still motivated and wanted to get in. I got the papers soon and knew that I was gonna mess up without a calculator. Both the papers were supposed to end after an hour but I took 4 whole hours, perfecting my answers and trying not to mess up. I was finally done after the teacher started to put pressure on me. 

I knew I messed up bad and I went home disappointed in myself and I started going back to Radcliffee, just until they were ready to give me my results. I was all miserable until the day of the results. 

They called us on 18th August, 2022, a Thursday. I have no idea how I remember that, maybe cause that was probably the happiest day of my life, I'm not joking. I woke up that morning and got ready to go to school like usual but instead, my dad asked me to wear something comfortable since we were going to Artion for results. I froze, I was so scared that I didn't eat anything. We soon reached Artion and went to the cellar, to the accounts office, for my results. I was sitting outside the office, praying to get in, regretting the fact that I didn't tell Zia and Isa about today. If I did, I could've met them one last time if I got rejected. My dad came back with my marks and it was trash. It was really bad maybe 32% and 45% or smthing, but somehow, I still got in. 

The accounts person knew I was excited and asked me to go join my class since I was there anyways. I was excited and nervous, mixed emotions took over me. I asked the person where my class was and she told me that it was on the 2nd floor, to the corner. I quickly rushed to the stairs and ran to the 2nd floor. I never knew I could run so fast. 

I reached the classroom, took a deep breath and opened the door before entering. It was maths class and the teacher allowed me in. I was met with hugs from all my friends and of course I hugged back. It was so warm and I didn't want it to end. I still think bout that time because it just felt so good, being wanted. The teacher had to break us apart before arranging an seat for me which was in the complete front. I had no bad with me and no books either, but I didn't really care.

The only thing I thought about was about how life had given me another chance. I felt very grateful and promised myself I would work hard. VERY hard.