From The Bottom Of My Heart

I'm Sorry I Couldn't Be That Perfect Daughter ; From The Bottom Of My Heart

Dear Beautiful Book, 

First of all, I'm sorry. I was supposed to release this part of the book yesterday, but I couldn't since both my parents decided to stay home. It would be real bad for me if they found out about this book especially since I'm typing out all our family's problems in here. Anyways, back to the book now.

7th grade was fun, but it was mostly boring. This was where I started to think that my life had no good parts in it. It was just the same thing every single day ; Wake up, get ready, go to school, come back home, do your homework, go hang out with few friends and fall asleep. I spoke to my parents about it and they said that they would do something about it. During this time, we bought a new house cause my mother insisted on it and that's when I met 3 people that would cause chaos in my life ; Bia, Sophia and Amy, all three of them 3 years younger than me. We were actually really good friends at first and I remember playing Dumb Charades with them on my first day as well.

A change of house meant a change of bus and I wasn't happy with that since that meant I'd have to sit with new people and I took a lot of time to get used to people. I used to tell everybody horror stories in my previous bus and people actually loved them! They used to ask for it everyday so, I made up my own stories to tell them. I would definitely miss that after changing buses.

I went back to school after maybe 10-12 days of break mostly cause I had to get used to the new house and I couldn't just go to school. After school did start, first day in my new bus was awkward. I usually sat in the complete back but there were people elder than me who would sit back there so, I had to sit in the front with a random person. The only person I could recognize was Shannon who was in the same bus as me, but we didn't sit together until a few days passed.

Anyways, when everything was boring, a lot of responsibilities came at me, all at once. First of all, my dad noticed how horrible I was at maths so he decided to find a tutor for me and once he did, he sent me to the place where the tutor taught stuff. It was right across my house which was pretty lucky, but, I felt dumb when he was teaching me and was acting like all that was nothing. The other kids there would stare at me, probably judging me and making me insecure. I managed to attend those classes for a while and I even met Tina once again! mostly since the tutor was a teacher in Tina's new school and asked her to attend his class cause she was bad at maths too. 

Tina being in the same tuition as me was a good thing, cause one day, I found a drawing of myself in a book ; The drawing was made with a pencil, all my facial features were mutated and I could tell that the artist's intention was to make me ugly. My body was drawn fat and it literally said, "F*** you Sky" near the picture. This actually made me sad and hurt me very much. When I asked Nikki about it, she told me that Tina was the one who did it and when I asked Tina, she told me that Nikki did it. I didn't know whom to trust, so I dropped the matter.  

Second thing was going for the green house's junior captain. In Artion, we were all sorted into 4 houses ; Red, Green, Blue and Yellow and back then, I was in the green house and my dad forced me to go for junior caption for the experience, so I did it. I had to face my fear of public speaking for it because the 1st round was to give a speech in front of everybody. The topic I picked was ; 'What are the qualities in a leader and what makes you one?'

My legs were shaking while I was speaking and my brain stopped working for a whole minute which made me forget a few words but I quickly came up with a replacement which was fortunate and I did get selected for the second round which was answering a few questions asked by my principal and a few teachers. This would take place in our principal's cabin and it would just be me and my teachers and of course I got selected! The third round was campaigning which would last for two days. We weren't really allowed to stick any posters or stuff, but we could go into classes and ask people to vote for us. 

It all went well on my first day and I was confident, but on my second day, my competitor ; A bad-mouthed my body type and made fun of me and he was in the same bus as my friends. They were the ones who told me and this killed my confidence, bringing back my insecurities. I started to give up and I do remember thinking how freaking ugly I was in dance class, while looking into a mirror and dancing.  

After that day, I got a really high fever and I had to stay home when they announced the results for captains. I called Nikki after school was done and asked her if she won, she said she did and then I asked if I won... I did. I was so happy that I got selected that I ran into our house yelling that I won! My parents were happy for me, but I was just glad all that was over. 

Now, the last thing ; Vocal lessons. My voice wasn't so bad before I took vocal lessons, I could actually hit any high note and hold it there for a good while, but after my vocal lessons, I couldn't do that anymore. I could still hit high notes but my voice would end up cracking and I needed to train on my own to improve again. My mother wanted that, for me to be a multitalented daughter. Im sorry i've only been a disappointment until now and am just interested in different things like dance and acting. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect daughter, from the bottom of my heart.