From The Bottom Of My Heart

Lone, From The Bottom Of My Heart

Dear Beautiful Book,

Remember how I told you about how my parents kept changing my school? Well... they found this IGCSE school which was close to us and which was bigger than my previous school. A part of me was relieved that I got enrolled into this school since things weren't going well in Radcliffe. After I came back, Valerie started to act weird, she was never around me and preferred hanging out with Sarah instead which honestly made me feel lonely. 

Soon after I was done with my 5th grade, I joined Artion which was where I would be studying until 10th according to my parents. I didn't know how I felt, a part of me was sad, heartbroken since I didn't feel like leaving the school, I had been there since when I was a child. I remember, during my first day, I was shocked at how big the school was, fortunately, we had assembly that day which would mean that every class would be standing outside on the huge soccer field which was before the stage where the choir and the teachers would stand. There were boards indicating where to stand based off which class you were in. We had two sections ; Alpha and Beta, I was placed in Beta since I picked Hindi to be my second language. 

After assembly, we all went to our class which was on the last floor, I swear I died while climbing up, I was probably the slowest. Back in 6th grade, I was chubby and people used to think that I was mean because of how I looked when in reality, I was just an introvert who could make friends easily, but needed the person to approach her first. Our tables were arranged in a U shape and the girls would sit on one side while the guys on the other. Our class teacher was our Computer science teacher as well. She was really sweet and I loved her! She made us play this game called 'You're my best friend because...' which was a pretty fun game. A person had to pick their best friend and tell the rest of the class why they were their best friend and then the person who was picked would pick somebody else, which did make me feel left out.

I was new to the school, of course nobody picked me but I wasn't the only one, there was this other guy, lets call him Aaron? yes, so he was new as well and nobody picked him. We both introduced each other instead to the rest of the class. I still think bout who I would've picked if I had been in that school for a long time, anyways, that day was really fun, I don't remember everything we did mostly because its been 5 years since this incident happened. I do remember that maths was the most boring class, I was really scared of my teacher since she insulted me before the ENTIRE class for not knowing how to draw flower brackets. Mrs. P (the math teacher) was the only one who gave us notes and homework. ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. 

We also had a small basics test, I helped my classmates cheat in that causing us to become good friends. One girl gave off the mean, popular girl vibes and lets call her Tina, the other was rude, straightforward and somehow nice, lets name her Nikki. These two were in Artion since 2nd grade which was a long time. They knew everything about the school and they were really good friends, not ready to add me to their friend duo until I helped them in their test. I just realized now that they never were friends with me, they just used the heck out of me because they thought I was smart when in reality, I was really dumb. It was mostly Tina that would use me, Nikki was actually kinda nice to me. There were two other girls apart from us ; Hailey and Shannon who were the best of friends. They didn't want anything to do with me either.

I didn't meet the people of the other section until drama class which was on my 2nd day, that was probably my favorite class. I was placed in one of the groups and we had to come up with a script. The teacher had to step out for a while and he asked us to stay silent and assigned a team leader to keep their groups silent. That's when we all introduced ourselves and I met the students from Alpha. I was probably the only one who wasn't talking in the room. Even Aaron found himself a few friends and would talk away with them. The leader of my group actually felt bad for me, she came to me and would smile at me, then say, "You're the good silent one as always Sky, thank you for being silent unlike your team members". I would just smile at her awkwardly and nod. 

This would repeat itself a couple of times before our teacher would return. We decided our concept and our group was group B. I was the child of this maid in the drama and since acting was my only speciality back then, I would agree to that. I still remember the script. It went something like there was a maid and her daughter (the leader being the maid and me being the daughter) who were royal to the rich man's family that they worked for, one day, the daughter of the rich man asked them both for food and they made her food with the leftover vegetables in the house. The Rich man's daughter takes a bite of the food and spits it back out with a disgusted face before throwing the food away. The Maid and her daughter apologize and ask her not to waste food but the Rich man's daughter gets angry and tells her mother who fires the maid along with her daughter.

They had no work to do and had to starve for days before pooling out all their money, the Daughter went to buy Oranges for her and her mother but by the time she comes back, she finds the mother on the ground. Dead.

~

The script was really fun to work with even though it was short, we all had a lot of fun during drama class. There were around 40 students in both the classes which was less compared to my other schools. I remember when me and Tina went to the cafeteria to eat the school food, oh by the way, there are two types of people in my school ; people that get their own lunch and people that eat the school lunch. The problem was, the cafeteria was all the way down, so we had to climb back to our class after lunch which was certainly tiring. I thought that Tina was a person who ate at the cafeteria everyday but I was wrong, and they laughed at me for it. 

I had to go to the cafeteria alone since everybody else got their own food except me because both my parents were working. I used to space out while eating, thinking about my boring life and wanting to go back to my old school. I had no real friends. People were fake, all of them and it was tiring. There were less students here, but why was it so hard to make true friends? why was did I feel like I was trapped between the cages of solitude and could never get out?