From The Bottom Of My Heart

My Lovelies Online

In 2020, I got discord, not really knowing what to expect. I got it because my classmates had it and Isa asked me to download it as well so I did listen to her and I did download it. My username was sweethorse3 at first, cringe. Discord was very confusing for me, but it played a huge part in my life since the people there made good memories with me during lockdown and gave me comfort when needed which is why I decided to write a special chapter dedicated to those people since they're precious to me. 

Lets start from the start, November 2020. The first server I joined was a BTS one called trusfrated ARMY since I was a huge ARMY back then, I'm not one anymore but I'm still a kpop fan. There, I saw somebody asking for help for their english homework so I DMed them and we both spoke for a while about her homework and she said she got it done, then we spoke bout BTS's new album and about how the songs were amazing and that's how we became friends, my first ever online friend <3

Her name was Fida and we grew pretty close, thx to my first ever server in discord. It was called, 'INFIRED ARMY' and there we just spoke about life and she offered to help me with the server, so trusting her, I made her a mod in my server. She helped me with the roles and told me everything I needed to know for running a good server, then she invited me to hers which still exists. It's called, 'Feeda Server' and it's inactive right now, but we all had a lot of fun there!

The next person I met was Debra, I call her unnie though cuz she's elder than me. I met her one day when I randomly decided to speak in a ff server called, 'Chimco's puppies'. We started to talk because of my interest in her tik tok edits and then, she introduced me to ffing in discord. The way it worked was we picked our biases and the other person would play them for us, eventually making the bias end up with 'us'. I was horrible at playing male for people, so I just gave up on ffs. 

There was a time when I found ffs very interesting and searched for more ffing servers cause Debra went offline at like 2pm in my time. We had different timezones, but that wasn't a problem, I just got bored. I joined this entertainment server called Euphoria Cooperation and realized that the server was very different. We had to submit forms to claim face-claims, mostly kpop and we had to use a bot called tupperbox to send messages. At first, I thought two bots were talking to each other at first and I was confused, but I finally realized how it worked and I learnt the basics. This was what people called Roleplaying or in short, rp or Krp.

I got inspired by that and started my first krp server called, 'Kumi entertainment', but one thing I didn't notice was that you actually had to edit for the fcs (face-claims) if your rp server was an entertainment and this was called fkpop (fake kpop). I met some people during this time, but I didn't really become close with them. 

Discord was all boring after, I joined random servers and I didn't like entertainments because my character (oc) never debuted in any groups. I soon deleted Kumi entertainment cause I couldn't manage it on my own and I started to get bored, but for me, discord was an escape, especially when my parents were fighting and yelling at each other. 

I was surprised when Crystal got discord and was actually active on it. I taught her what ffing was and told her about rp as well. She wanted to start a server for ARMYs and BLINKs which we did. We named it ARMY BLINKS and I took good care of it. That's where I met many amazing people. 

The server was pretty active and it was growing quickly. Even Isa and Amanda were there in the server. We did need more mods and that's when Eunji (Eun) and Machu entered my life. I took their interview and I was impressed, so they got selected along with Phoenix (my dear twin) and Jolly (the sweetest person Ik online). We all became VERY close because of mafia games and talking in general. 

We managed the server together and took to 200 members. All of us were very happy and we were celebrating, but then, our server got hacked and a lot of drama occurred between two of the staff members. The hacker kicked out most of our members and locked all channels, also took our admin role away, so we just decided to change the server's name to IRENIC and move the server, but by then, lockdown was done and everyone became busy. We couldn't revive the server once again and right now, its inactive. 

Thankfully, I did start another rp server called, 'Cloud entertainment' with Yuzi and Crystal and we rped there a lot during lock down. The server did really well and I learnt how to edit and also had a fake survival show. The group formed because of it is doing really well according to views right now and during that survival show, I met Anna. A person who's really fun to talk to. Idk how, but we became really good friends. The only thing I remember is promising to help her with her own entertainment ; Chica entertainment which had pretty good groups. 

I did shut down Cloud entertainment later on cause I found out about the Fkpop community and I was hurt because my groups weren't even known that well. I was hurt, I felt like I was horrible at the only thing I liked to do, so I started Blue Flame labels, hoping to get some recognition but that failed too. During this time, I met Autumn, a person very tiny and very special to me. We both became close because of rping. Around that time, I also met Hanu, Machu's cousin. I didn't know her that well, but we somehow became close and I introduced her to rp.

We usually rped everyday after school and we soon found out about each others schools and everything, that's how much we started to trust each other. 

After a while, nevermore started to gain popularity and that's how I met Pancake, Alibe, Milli and Blinksoo, the people I talk to a lot, especially blinksoo. Ofc we got close because of rp, but now we're really good friends and we still talk! 

My parents said people online deceive you, hurt you and I can't trust them, but they were wrong about these gems I found. I'm honestly glad I did find them cause they gave me comfort just by talking to me. I opened up to them, they have my trust. 

I love you guys, if you are reading this :D <3