how you get the girl- Paige Bueckers

20- hung up on you

juliette 

present; narrative

One thing about me is no matter how heartbroken I was I would never let it show. I would walk around with a smile on my face like nothing happened. I would wear insane amounts of concealer to hide the purple eye bags that formed from my lack of sleep. I would wear my hottest outfits in hopes that it would hide my sadness. I hadn't seen Paige since the breakup, I made excuses not to go to practices and since they had hired another photographer I wasn't as needed. Today was media day though so it would be the first time I saw Paige since. And of course Media Day was the day after my birthday.

Yes, it's been over a month now and it still feels just as fresh. Paige was the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thought on my mind before I fell asleep. I forced her clothes out of my closet so I didn't cling to them and Rose had returned them without telling me which led to me breaking down and almost not speaking to her. She did the right thing because if not I would still be sleeping with those hoodies in hopes of having a piece of the girl with me.

Jay and Rose were my only comfort sources. In such a short amount of time Jay grew to be an important part of my life. He gave up his bed and slept on the couch on nights that Paige consumed my thoughts. He got me little things just to cheer me up during the day. He even listened to Taylor Swift just so I could be happy.

When I wasn't with Rose I was with Jay. I came with him to his practices and games when I had nothing to do. I was at his place all the time and when I wasn't he was at mine with Rose and I watching horror movies. People had stuff to say about it obviously. Jay was the hottest guy at school apparently and him being with me all the time definitely made some fangirls angry, especially after that article yesterday which was a huge miscommunication.

It was my birthday that I had planned out perfectly months before. I would wake up with Paige by my side. I would have dinner with the girls and then we would go to the club and I would finally have a legal drink. I'm from New York, obviously I did some underage drinking but the first legal one was special. All my planning came crumbling down and I didn't even want to celebrate anymore. The girls forced me out which to my dismay I needed. Jay surprised me there and was the designated driver. He stayed sober the whole night, dealing with about 10 drunk girls. Honestly I was thankful he showed up because without him I doubt we would've made it home.

I knew Paige had seen the article by Azzi's stressed face when we all saw it published afterwards. I don't know how she reacted and as much as I was curious, I never asked. I couldn't let her have the satisfaction of knowing I cared. Another thing about me after a breakup is I'll act like I don't care when I really do. I wanted to know everything about Paige but I held myself back. I couldn't move on if I was hung up on her, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want anyone else. I wanted to be back in the arms of the blonde girl I craved so much.

When I realized I couldn't hide away from the girls forever, mostly because of very stressed texts from the girls that the new photographer wasn't as good and apparently a little creepy. He was an older guy, not a student but he was hired so I assumed he had the skills to back up, apparently not because he was gone not long after, putting all the responsibilities back on my shoulders. I had planned everything for media day. As much as I was upset, this was the girls' day to shine. They all loved dressing up and getting to hype each other up. I got lighting, backdrops, drops, multiple different cameras and smoke, it was the perfect setup.