21- goodbye

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juliette 

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juliette 

present; narrative + instagram

Stage three of a breakup is called 'making sense of it all' basically until you have a solid grasp on why things ended, you'll be all in your head about it. That's what I've been trying to do. I've been trying to think of why we broke up and what was going through Paige's head but everytime I think of the breakup I'm reminded by how quick and sudden it was. I was confused whether it was a break or a breakup till I saw the look in her eyes. It's like she wanted the relationship to end as soon as possible and she couldn't give me a proper breakup with an explanation why. Kinda like Joe Jonas with his twenty seven second phone call breaking up with Taylor Swift. It's kind of hard to move on when I still have so many unanswered questions.

I started going back to practices and games regularly now. I tried to keep my eyes and camera off Paige as much as I could, except for the necessary few pictures at each game and practice I needed of each girl. After practices or a game ended I sped off the court and left as soon as I could, not even giving her the opportunity to do her slow steps over to me like that time on media day.

"Rose, I'm back." I screamed walking into the apartment. Rose was standing in the kitchen watering her plants and before she even replied she pointed to the couch where Jay was very comfortably laying. "And Jay." I laughed at his new found comfort at our place. Don't get me wrong, Rose didn't mind his company but it was still shocking how quickly he warmed up to us.

"Thank god, Rose has been talking about how I should never get a cactus." He groaned, walking over to me and wrapping his hand around my shoulder. Rose looked at him with her jaw dropped.

"YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD WATER IT EVERY DAY!" She screamed at him, making him duck his face to hide his laugh. Rose took her plants seriously, that's why I never bothered to touch them since I would probably kill them. "How was practice love?" Her tone was back to normal, as she looked at me.

"As good as it can be. The girls are going out tonight." I took a seat on the barstools in front of Rose, Jay followed.

"Are you going?" Rose asked, looking at me softly. I really didn't want to go. Paige would be there but those girls were my friends too and rejecting their invitations all the time was even worse than seeing Paige.

"Probably, the girls invited me." Well more like they cornered me and told me I'm coming. They were all much taller than me so it wasn't hard to do but it was a little scary. Only a few of them could drink so we were going to some restaurant that had alcohol and music, I mean at least there was going to be drinks.

"Just think of it as a good time with your friends. Have some drinks, dance. Paige doesn't exist." Jay reassured and Rose nodded in agreement.

"Will you guys at least help me pick a hot outfit?" I gave in, deciding that if I ignored Paige enough I could just pretend she wasn't there.

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