There is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns

30: A Gentleman

Mr Mushy flexed a thumb.

It was a funny thing, a thumb. Without one, he could not grab things with his hands. Being a mushroom meant that he didn't really have to grab things. He was a mushroom, it was fine. But now that he had grown these legs, funny things those are, he couldn't bare the idea of going back to sitting in one spot until his cap grew wrinkled and his mind returned to the earth.

His best brother, Great Mushy, disagreed strongly on this matter. Mr Mushy nodded, understanding how his brother's thorny vines and dangerous spit made moving a little less tempting. So, Mr decided he would just tell his best brother everything that happened near the front of their home.

Mother Delta moved past, her form unseen but her voice loud and cheerful. Mr Mushy wriggled his funny thumb in the direction her voice vanished down. Mother Delta had been busy. A second floor! He wondered what it was like...

Mr Mushy used his wonderful fingers to itch his cap in curiosity. He was a being of the first floor... he should not be thinking of other floors, but the thoughts stuck to him like Gutrot mushroom spores did when he sat on them. He found them funny but the little goblins ran away, covering their nose at his approach. He tried the other mushrooms, poking them until spores came out, and rubbed them on his body.

Hands were very useful for poking. Vines like his brothers could only ensnare or choke... maybe pull if brother was feeling nice. Mr tried not to feel too prideful of his hands and feet.

It was so odd, when he saw the little mans, he was more excited to touch them than hurt them. He did not remember everything from his time as a Mushy. Things had gotten lost as his world became bigger.

But he remembered the hate.

The desire to kill, the desire to hurt any that came near. It was a sickly feeling like sweet flower water. So easy to drink and so hard to stop drinking. Then mother Delta had taken that hate away and given him fingers.

For each finger he had, the hate became quieter. Mr didn't miss it. He enjoyed chasing Boary and cuddling the hairy thing. He enjoyed falling into the mudroom and splashing about! He liked... when Mother Delta was happy.

Mr Mushy carefully moved across the mudroom. It took some luck, aiming and falling but he managed to reach the far end. Mr lumbered down the room and waved at the nice spiders. Not like the one he had to smash. One waved back before it continued it's webbing and weaving. Mr tried to think of what it would be like to make web out of his fingers or his hands.

He'd be some rare monster. Spider-Mushroom, the mushroom that swung through the dungeon to hug things.

Yes, the image pleased him greatly. He waddled into the pond room and waved at Waddles. The duck stared at him and then nodded once before it went back to swimming lazily around the pond.

Mr wondered what it would be like to be in the water. He knew water was good. He was a mushroom. Water was pretty good. He did wonder if being in too much water could be bad. It was a thought he would poke at later and he waved goodbye to the fishies and moved down the tunnel to the new room he hadn't seen yet.

The little ones called it a 'Store' room. He did not know what that meant. As a Mushy, he had no need of a store and wondered, with his wonderful hands, if he needed one now. It was worth a look and he did love looking.

The room was... nice. It felt like Mr had walked into some well moisturised room. The air seemed to hold a nice crispness to it. Mr saw wooden things that looked flat. They held rocks and arrows in a neat line.

He wondered what they were?

Shelves. They are good for space and holding objects for viewing pleasure. Mr Mushy, do not wander too far from the Grove. Delta does not need to fish you out from the mudroom... again.

Mr nodded happily. Nu was a nice thing. A menu, if Mr remembered right. He appeared not long ago, after the nice plant woman had come. Mr Mushy wondered if Nu was a shelf.

He held words in a neat row and for Mr's viewing pleasure...

I am a menu. Not a piece of furniture. See, there is a shelf, a barrel, a chest, a... I think it is a pot but Delta's crafting is making me hesitant to relate the two.