Coming Home (BoyxBoy)

Night of Sacrifice

Jason's POV

Panic attacks couldn't come close to the crippling fear that kept me glued to the floor. Everything in my being was begging for all of this to be a dream, a very bad nightmare, but it wasn't.

I'd spent years cultivating a fuck you type of attitude just for it to disintegrate on my step mothers marble floors. Visceral feelings of helplessness I hadn't felt in years all came rushing back, choking the vitality out of me.

First Noah filled my mind with memories of the torture I endured, and now he'd completely fabricated it in front of us.

I could only vaguely register my yells of anguish, but I could feel the scratch in my vocal chords. With tears in my eyes I willed my body to stop freaking out. I felt the cold hard marble beneath my hands and let the coolness stabilize me.

Deep breaths flooded my lungs as I took the time to fill them. My body eventually stopped convulsing with panic and terror, even though I still held the tension of dread. I learned enough from Gramps about trauma responses and how to get my body into a calmer state.

My first few months with the Nosti I was easily triggered into emotional states I couldn't control. Gramps' words came back to me about my panic attacks.

"The mind will pull you in all types of ways at the start of losing control. Don't let it. The one place you can always place your mind is within your body.

Drop your awareness into your body. Feel how the air gets pulled inside of you when you take the initiative to breath. How it fills your lungs. Don't think, breathe, feel."

Calm isn't what I found when I dropped my awareness into my body but I found less panic. My heart started to slow and I then noticed Noah was hugging me.

His solid arms wrapped around me with care but also a firm reassurance. I sunk into the feeling of being held. Shame hit me too, but another thing Grandpa used to say to me echoed through my head.

"You're stronger because you face your emotions. No matter how big and distressing they are and how manly you think you're supposed to be, it's ok to let your emotions run through you.

You might cry, your heart will probably break a thousand times over, but you have to deal with that. You have to sit in the middle of that storm until it passes."

To the old man's credit, he gave me an education I couldn't have gotten from Nikkal or maybe anyone. In the midst of everything, I could feel Gramps' love for me. He wasn't my father but he was definitely the only father figure I had left. He'd taught me a lot despite how stubborn I was.

"No one's come out to fuck us up.....despite how loud we've been," Noah muttered matter of factly.

"I don't think that we're at your step mothers palace," Noah concluded. He pulled away from me without going too far.

"Than... Thank you for helping me get over my panic attack," I didn't want to meet Noah's eyes. I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing even a sliver of pity for me. I forced myself to meet them anyway.

"No problem. Whatever we're up against, we're facing it together. I've got your back Jason," Noah smiled and I couldn't help but return it.

He didn't even look scared and I'd lost my shit. The irony wasn't lost on me. Noah was making decisions and rising to the occasion.

"Sometimes life has a way of applying pressure just right," this time I could really hear Gramps voice. The idea of more pressure being applied got me to my feet. We couldn't just sit in the throne room like sitting ducks, waiting until someone found us.

"We need to explore or at least keep moving. Do you think this is some sort of hell? We have to be on the other side because this palace hasn't existed for thousands of years," I pointed out.

"I'm not sure. If I had to take a stab at it, I'd say the dark king is fucking with us... somehow..." Noah whispered.

We got up and I decided to lead us through the halls. I shuddered at the thought of meeting my step mother, but it didn't look like anyone was in the place. A couple of steps down the hall and I started to feel something peculiar.

It wasn't a physical sensation but something more energetic. There was something wrong about the way the Hallway felt.

"What are you thinking?" Noah whispered as if I wasn't just screaming moments before.

"This isn't how I remember the palace being. I mean it's ominous enough with the shadows and the dim lighting, but I don't remember this type of stone, or the art or anything like this," I gestured at all the decor.

" At first I thought that somehow you projected my memories and created this place from them.

But this doesn't feel like what I remember. It's way more vivid with details I've never had access to before....." The feeling of unease grew and then it dawned on me.

These weren't my memories, we'd  actually transcended space and time and we were in fact... in the past.

But when were we?

Think. I thought, think. What day would everyone be out of the palace at night?

"We have to hide, now!" I whispered to Noah. I grabbed his hand and we ran, I didn't know what I was looking for. I figured if we got to the servant quarters maybe we could blend in.

Everyone would be back soon and when they were back the ritual would begin. My mind was going a mile a minute as we burst through the doors of the servant's quarters.

I rummaged as fast as I could for extra clothes Noah and I could fit. I threw him whatever I could find. By the time we had everything on Noah was panting.

"Why..... fuck that was fast. Why are we dressing in the servants' clothes? What's happening?" Noah looked puzzled but ready to follow my lead.

"We aren't in my memories of my past. We're in the actual past, and the only night that would have the palace empty would be a night where a sacrifice was being done." I looked Noah right in his eyes, "you're going to have to trust my instincts on this one. I have no idea why we're here, but I do know that we can't draw attention to ourselves, especially tonight."

Dark rituals, passages into the space between the regular world and the Otherworld they all lead to one thing... sacrifice.

The price of gaining power over reality always demanded bloodshed and a feast of souls for whatever creature would broker the deal. I was very aware of my heart beating. I was on the precipice of letting the thumps get erratic as I thought about the creature.

Why was I so fucking scared? I wanted to beat myself up over it, but I didn't have time for that shit.

I grabbed Noah and opened the door wide enough to conceal us behind it. I was hoping that the servants would be so wrapped up in the preparation that they wouldn't notice the open door or us slipping out from behind it.

"We've got to just wait until people get back and then we'll blend in as best as we can. The servants are preparing offerings for a creature that will broker a deal for my step mother. We have to stay alive until tomorrow and that's going to be hard to do.

Don't think about any of that though. Just focus on the sacrifice and the ceremony. I don't want that thing to sniff us out and realize we don't belong here."

I shuddered. Noah nodded.

I remembered hearing screams on The Night of Sacrifice. They were distorted to my drug-addled mind but I heard them. In the delirium, I thought the agony sounded familiar, but the palace was supposed to be empty until everyone returned to play out their role in the ritual.

Now I knew, they were my screams.

I didn't know what to think about timelines converging like this. What if I changed something and it had a ripple effect in the Otherworld? What if I didn't do something and that had an effect.

I heard the shuffling and murmurs of people as they opened the palace doors and I stiffened. The ritual had begun.