Coming Home (BoyxBoy)

I Won't, I Can't, Love Him?

Nate's POV

Everything was already in motion and I couldn't do anything to stop it. All I had to do was negotiate Kally's release and save my dad, so why did it feel like this hell was just beginning.

Noah's POV

Jason worked me to the bone. Anything we could do we did and my body transformed in those three short weeks. Muscles, I didn't know could be defined, showed themselves. We were working desperately.

Even gramps started to show me exactly what controlling Nikkal's energy meant. It was like having poison go through your veins. The power wanted to destroy itself while it consumed you.

Jason laughed as I tried to describe it, "It's like being drunk or.."

"Feeling as high as a kite. You don't worry about all the little shit because you're above that, all that matters is what you want. I know exactly what that feels like," Jason grinned as his tattoos swirled around on his skin.

He really was perfection and I couldn't help but think that more and more as we worked together. Slowly, the fantasies crept in. I didn't know it until then, but I had been fighting how I felt. I had been fighting my attraction to Jason just as hard as he had been keeping himself in check.

"Are you ready for Nate to try to kill you?" Jason's hard ass demeanor had melted away. His question made me feel vulenerable.

"Ugh, that's an odd question," I wiped the sweat off of my face.

"That's the only question," I met Jason's eyes. They hardened.

"Okay, fists up. Today we fight with energy. The key to not killing everyone is to control your emotions. Don't act out of a place of fear but hold onto your sanity and act out of a place of power. Real power is being able to take the right risks because your awareness encompasses your whole being. You know what you can handle but you also know that you can always push yourself."

Energy slammed into me like a slow motion freight train, striking me in the gut. Air whooshed out of my lungs, I couldn't even think about the pain before the next attack hit. Jason didn't lighten up until I threw a shield. Blue swirled in a force field in front of me. I darted to the left anticipating Jason's next strike but my shield was poorly formed and barely contained the power Jason was attacking it with. I knew I wouldn't last long with my current approach.

Gramps always said that throwing more energy behind my attacks wouldn't help and that I had to know what I was doing. I took a deep breath and let the energy fill me up. Every nerve stood on edge, getting me drunk on pure adrenaline.

"Don't let it consume you. Control the power!" Jason ordered but he was far away, I could feel Nikkal and everything her energy was igniting.

Intense streams of blue energy shot out of my hands but Jason blocked every single one. My frustration was mounting, I ran at him shooting some more beams of energy. Jason sidestepped each one. His energy wrapped around his arms then he sent one blow directly into me.

My body slammed against the floor and then skid against it. My tailbone was in pain and fire traveled down my back, but I pushed myself up. Sparring went on like this for weeks. Jason would get me down but I kept getting back up.

"Enough. Noah are you trying to die?"

I wasn't but I was desperate to get better. Jason was just so much better at controlling his energy.
~

Jason and I sat in the library where we first met.

"You were a total asshole, I thought we were going to hate each other," Jason looked up from his book.

"Oh yeah? Funny because I thought I was going to end up fucking you up against a wall by now," a tantalizing smile hinted at his lips.

There it was the thick attraction crackling in the air between us. Jason felt too close even if we were across a large oak table, staring each other down.

"Then take me, right here, right now. Bend me over this table and fuck me," as soon as the words left my lips I thought heat was going to hit my face but it didn't. For once I was saying exactly what I wanted and I wasn't ashamed.

Jason's POV

The cocky son of bitch sat there daring me to take him. I shook my head, if only he knew what it would mean for me to give into whatever sizzled between us.

I wouldn't be able to have him once and I would never be able to share him, ever. The feelings inside of me were too strong and too destructive. If Noah went back to Nate... well Nate wasn't going to survive, that much I could promise.

No. For everyone, it was better if I hid my hard on for Noah. The tattoos on my arm began to swirl as I resisted the energy that was moving because Noah was there. I still hadn't figured out why the kid made me feel out of control of Nikkal's energy.

"Noah, as much as I've been waiting for you to beg me to have you with that sweet mouth of yours, I can't. If there's one person in the whole Nosti settlement that may have more baggage than even I do, it's you. Stay focused on the reading gramps gave you," I gestured at the book Noah was supposed to be reading and then returned to reading mine.
~

"Noah is driving me crazy," I said to Nikkal as she lounged underneath her favorite tree. I went back to her statue to tell her about the progress we were making.

"What? Because now he's getting some back bone? I'm incredibly pleased by how much Noah has grown," she beamed with pride like she'd been responsible.

"I don't need to get distracted. I'm just here to train him and hopefully clean up this horrible mess you've made. If Noah doesn't die, well hell, if neither one of us dies then my job is done. I'm going to move on."

"You can make all the plans you want Jason but fate is fickle bitch, and she doesn't care about your sensibilities," Nikkal raised an eyebrow and slowly shook her head. "Fuck, you have it bad."

"What?"

"You love him," she said so quietly she might as well have been whispering.

"No, I want to fuck him. Huge motherfucking difference!" my heart was speeding up. If I felt more than lust for Noah, even more than possessiveness...

"You've never loved someone. You tolerate me but even then I don't really think you love me like a son loves their mother. But I see it in your eyes when you talk about the source," I frowned at Nikkal's words.

"How the fuck do you know I love him?!"

"You're mad as fuck about it," Nikkal's eyes sparkled with a knowing, I'd never seen her look at me with pity. Not even when she saw my drugged and raped body dumped before her in that throne room.

"You have to let go of the past Jason, especially if you want to have a future," Nikkal said softly. Like a memory she faded away, going back to wherever she went so she didn't have to deal with my emotional ass.

I rolled my eyes, it was just like Nikkal to run from emotions.