Coming Home (BoyxBoy)

Ignorance Is Bliss?

Noah

Ma had her secrets and up until her death, I didn't care. I always trusted her to keep me safe but now it seemed like I was on my own in that department.

I put together that whoever came to the house knew it. That didn't narrow anything down because not much had changed in the last 15 years. I also imagined that whatever they wanted from the attic also hadn't been moved around in that time.

I prayed that the man wasn't who I thought he was. That was impossible though.

I tried sitting up in bed but sharp pangs of pain made it nearly impossible. By the time I got downstairs I was exhausted.

"You should have slept longer," Nate said by the door. He was taking measurements for the new door.

"I can't stay in bed all day," I sat down at the oak table.

I hated it when people came over because the house always seemed messier. When it's just you, you get used to the pile of bills and unwashed dishes and you're fine with them. Then another human makes the mess so glaringly obvious just by being there.

I had a strong urge to clean the fuck out of the house. I got up slowly and just made it to the sink. With one hand braced on the counter I managed to keep myself upright.

We worked like that for a while, I washed the dishes as Nate did whatever with the door. I got lost in some of the memories I had of ma and pa. There weren't many.

The worst one by far was when we were barricaded in the house. My mother held me close and rocked me back and forth. I was crying so hard clutching to her as pa paced across the living room.

"Shhhhhh, we'll be fine. We'll be fine. I will always protect you."

Ma kept saying that over and over but I could tell something was going to change. Eventually pa put his gun down and went out the front door. The next time I saw him, he was in prison.

My vision began to get cloudy as I finished the last dish and then I was falling. Warmth surrounded me and I was vaguely aware of someone holding me up and moving me. I felt hollow on the inside and I wanted that to stop.
~

"Yup... he's fine just beat up and bruised... well fuck, are you sure? Benjamin is out?... I don't want to talk about this right now... yes and thanks for the door," I heard Nate say.

My heart began to punch against my rib cage, I was shaking. Nate walked into my line of view. A momentary look of surprise flashed across his face.

"So you're finally awake," Nate said quietly as I sat up.

"My dad, he broke out of prison."

"Look.."

"What I don't understand is why you know before I do," my voice was raspy and wavering with rage. Nothing that had happened in the past few weeks felt quite as bad as this, being left out of loop in my own family matters.

White hot rage was filling me and it had nowhere to go. I wasn't even strong enough to hit something.

"I can explain everything but remember I kept this from you so you wouldn't get hurt," Nate sat down on the other couch.

"Oh fuck you, how many people are going to keep thinking that I need to be kept safe? Did you and ma think you'd have to take care of me for the rest of my life? I'm not yours to protect."

"Ha don't I know it! You've made it clear that you'll never be mine and if you recall, you left me and this town. You didn't come back! I stayed here. I helped Martha when she started getting sick, I begged her not to end her life when she was losing it."