INTRIGUED

Chapter 27 - panic and anxiety

**VICTORIA **

Yeah , we didn't do anything at all. I mean we were about to but then the driver knocked on the blind and told us that we'd arrived.

He helped me put on the hoodie and I hid my bra it's pocket  getting out. I couldn't do much about my flastered faced and swollen lips. Getting out of the car we got into the this gorgeous  house.

"This is beautiful " I said looking at the interior. Everything was so clean and sparkly who'd think we actually live her.

"It's just temporary. Once everything is settled we will go back home. Yeah?" He said to me and I just nodded.

"I have somethings I need to handle with the guys. You do not leave the house without telling me first okay ?" He asked with a firm voice.

"Okay" I whispered and he smiled before he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and  walked out again.

This house was just as big as the one before. There wasn't much difference in the architect  and that could prove useless  if you're attacked inside the house.

"Mrs Rivera ?" Called out Marilyn  as she stood on the staircase.

"Your room is ready. Come I'll show  it to you" she said and I nodded following right behind her.

Getting to the room , grey was the most dominating colour.

"I'll send someone to put up the clothes in the closet as soon as the suitcases are moved up here. Is there anything you might need?" She asked me.

"Did you manage to pack my medicine?" I asked her feeling the anxiety building in up fast.

"I-I'll  check right away ?" She said and rushed out.

"Everything is going to be okay Alicìa  , nothing to worry about. Lorenzo will handle everything. He will handle it. Nothing will go wrong" I said to myself.

Trying to convince  myself was the hardest thing I had to do for myself.

Once I started feeling anxious I don't know why everything around started feeling like a threat.

I would feel scared , stuck  and I would loose myself control and I hated myself for it.

"Where is he?" I asked myself as I rushed downstairs.

I looked through the hallways , the offices ,  all the rooms , the library , the courtyard.

He wasn't there. "Where is he?" I said feeling scared.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking. My breathing became irregular.

"Alicìa!" Called out someone from behind  me.

I looked back and saw Tom coming towards me. I ran to him and held onto  his arms.

"W-w-where is Lorenzo? Y-you're always with him where is he ?" I asked him feeling scared , cold and alone.

"Please tell me. W-where did he go ?" I asked again. "Is he okay ?" I asked him again.

"Hey , listen to me " he said holding my hands in his.

"Lorenzo has gone outside. He had some work that he needed to take care off. He'll be back very soon. There's no-" but I cut him short.

"No , you're lying to me again. Just like what you did back at the warehouse when you didn't want to tell me about the informer. " I said backing away from him.

"I-i-i  need to see him. Nothing's alright" I sad going back and searching the house again.

What if something happens to him ?

Where did he go?

Why did he not tell me anything ?

Is he safe ?

These questions played themselves over and over again in my mind as I raced through the house checking everywhere.

He had to be here.

I need him to be home.

What if my dad gets to him and hurts him?

Questions and worst case scenarios  kept popping into my head terrorising any thread of positivity that was with in me.

My heart was racing. Its like it was the only thing I could hear.  everything and every other sound seemed to have gone away.

My vision became blurry as the dizziness  sunk in. I could feel someone shaking me trying to get me back to reality but all that  seemed so inevitable  without him here.

I knees got weak and I felt myself drop to the floor but no amount of pain could course through me.

My head and heart were pounding within me as if they were torturing me for any bad deed that I've ever done.

Where are you Lorenzo?

No-one seemed  to reply me. Not even him. I've never wanted to see his stupid face more.

I tried slowing down my breathing.

I tried to breathe slowly and deeply.

I tried to focused on the positive side of things.

But everytime I tried to breathe in deeply , it felt as though I was letting water come into my lungs and destroy any amount of air they had.

Everytime I tried to think of any positivity  it would start out good until my dad came and killed them in cold blood just like what he did to my mother.

This no longer an anxiety attack it was actually a panic attack and it was all my fault. The moment I'd felt like this i should've taken my medication but this intense feeling  of dread came crushing down without warning.

It was hard to let go of it. It's like it engulfed me into an endless hole I could never get out from.

My head hurt. I kept getting these bad images of everyone around me getting hurt by dad and all I did was just stand there and watch.

I couldn't even beg him to stop.

I tried to paint out a good scenario  in my head but everything I tried picturing ended up in a blood bath.

Death haunted me the most.

What if it happens to him ?

What if dad hurts him just so he can hurt me ?

My eyelids became heavier as the air surrounding me became hot and suffocating.

I could feel myself slipping in and out of darkness.

I was holding on to the last strand of  light I had left and just when I thought it was all that was left.

A huge light came and shielded me from all that darkness. All the bad things that came into my mind and terrorised  it were burnt by this bright light.

Everything else was destroyed  by this light but to me this light felt like peace. It felt like home. It felt exactly  like love.

I felt myself getting lifted off the ground and my head rested on  this comfortable  place that had only one sound coming out from it.

The beautiful sound of a calm heartbeat.  I closed my eyes and concentrated on the heartbeat and the newly found light to my darkness.

"You'll be okay Alicìa. I'm here" he said to me.

I smiled knowing his back and he's safe.