𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜 𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗢- lando norris

8- Sunday the 28th of May

Talking to the Moon- Bruno Mars + Getaway Car, Taylor Swift

₊‧°𐐪 tamera 𐑂°‧₊

Nobody tells you how hard it is to deal with grief. Nobody tells you how to act when you lose someone to heaven, nobody guides you, nobody teaches you, nobody acts normal with you. I have had absolutely no one in the past ten days but Charles, Millie and Lando. No. One. At. All.

People are scared to talk with someone who's fragile. Every time. Sure, they'll send awkward texts with those hand heart emojis, send flowers, white roses or lilies strewn with green ribbon, they'll write half-hearted cards with best wishes, heck even RedBull posted on their Instagram with a photo of the three of us, but no one talks with me. Not even Daniel. He wasn't even getting it as hard as I was. Grandpa didn't even raise him, he raised me. I was Grandpa's baby Bella. Sure, I've shed tears, and I've been held tight by Charles and Lando, but nothing. Not even a word from my son. I miss Leo so much. His little brown eyes and gorgeous little head of hazelnut hair. Oh, and my little boy's smile, those cute little white teeth. The way he laughs was just like Riley. And I want her right now. But I lost her too.

The party with Charles and Arthur was fine. Sure, I wasn't fine, I was going to have a breakdown at any given moment, but a smile is all I can give them. 'Fake it 'til you make it' is what he used to say, and by hell I've been trying. The cameras have been on me, hell even Crofty gave me a hug on camera yesterday before Quali. All of these cameras apart from my own. I had to write a confessional video for my subscribers and followers about my break from social media. I couldn't handle it, reading DMs from my viewers and seeing his face pop up on my feed. I'm sure I'll be back, but no one could ever be sure. When I got that hug from David Croft yesterday, I didn't know how to feel. I'm a lawyer, I usually do handshakes unless you're in my circle, but having someone so prominent to Grandpa hug me when no one else would was shattering. My heart probably broke into a million pieces all over again. No one has given me a hug like that in ages, he met him and he knew. He knew that Grandpa was like my father and best friend all at once.

Coming to this race is tough. I am here for Charles, and I will smile for him because I am so excited for him. Real smiles or not, I am here, I've made a presence on track here today and yesterday plus I'm with Arthur and their eldest brother Lorenzo I am ready for this day. Monaco means everything to Charles, and I wouldn't dare ruin it for him, because he has to try his best here from P6. Ideally he doesn't risk it all here and spin out but hey, I know how hardworking Charles is and he totally has got it. That was until maybe twenty laps in he hadn't really moved around. I had been standing with Arthur and Lorenzo in the garage with our fingers crossed. Races just have that exhilarating feeling. The rush of adrenaline in your heart when you hear those cars pull out of the garages, or just rush past in general is pretty much unmatched. Racing could always fill my family's hearts, I just wish they were here for me today. And I know it means more to the Leclerc family as they have dealt with much more in the past. I just hope Charles keeps at least P6 because after driving here in the car with him I know how much pressure he feels.  At the end of the race, Charles was still P6, and Carlos was P8. I was very happy for that. Max had created an almost twenty eight second lead from Alonso in P2 and Lando came P9. Ocon had come a rare third and the Mercedes went back to back P4 and 5. 

Myself and Arthur were now standing out on the track in the afternoon sun. There were celebrities everywhere, singers, footballers, actors, everyone you could think of was here. Photographers lined the walls, the garages, taking lucky flashes of all the celebrities. And we were waiting for Charles. Once he appeared, photographers took many photos.

"Congratulations, Charles." Arthur approached him first, sweeping in for a quick pat on the back hug, and they both smiled.

"Trés bien, mon frere." The older brother looked at him with a smile. "How'd I do?"