𝔻𝔸𝕃𝕀𝔸ℍ

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒

Ramadan was nothing special to me. Some days I get to fast, other days I don't. Honestly, I have been half fasting since I went to that place.

I have never thought or dreamt of a time where I will be forced to eat, literally. Unfortunately, the time is here but my appetite is on a universe tour. If it was a world tour, it'd have probably been back, but I have no idea where it is or when it will be back.

This Ramadan though would be different, because now I know more about my Deen. I know all the blessings and everything I gain if I fast. Besides, I don't really eat, so it's not a problem. Also, Ramadan is not just about fasting and rewards, that feeling of togetherness when we gather for iftar, it... It just hits different.

Eid was another thing, I never really celebrated Eid when I went to that place. I didn't get to get excited over getting new clothes, or going for Eid prayer, and all that Eid giddiness.

Here though, with a family it's different, I could literally feel it radiating off their body. I couldn't help but feel it too, it's a good feeling. A different one.

Halima fussing over our Eid clothes, was something I saw as funny, she said and I quote 'eid is not complete without dressing up'. I told her it wasn't true.

Batool decided she wanted to go to Kaduna to her spend Eid with their mother. My time in this house has told me that, halima and faruq do not have a good relationship with their mother. Their oldest brother and batool, who both look like her, get along with her more. I don't know what their deal is but I hope they sort it out, I had a perfect bong with my mother and I think everyone should too.

There's annoor. How that girl fought her way into my heart, I don't know. But I won't get too attached, I don't want to be disappointed or hurt. If I can get hurt more than I already am.

All by the way, I'm okay. And being forced to help halima prepare iftar for her friends that are coming over, she said I should invite my friends, which is Annoor. She did this every Ramadan; invite her friends on the last day.

I only sat, helping her to chat as she and the maid cooked a lot of food. Halima has a lot of friends.

"I want to pick out my wedding anko now". She told me.

"Where are you rushing to?".

"Come on, I'm getting married in less than a year. Immediately after graduation".

"I will not even ask you again why you are in a hurry". I shook my head.

"It's called love. And I would love to see you in love".

"Very funny".

"You will still get married one day". She said a little bit too seriously.

"Hnmm, so what do you have in mind for the anko?". I wasn't interested but I had to change the topic. She noticed what I had done and smiled.

"I'm not sure yet, but I want something different".

"Something different how".

"Why don't we do abayas?".

"I'm fine with anything halima". I told her then picked my phone to watch tiktok. Ever since halima introduced me to the app, I am on it like 22/7.

"I know you are, but what are sisters for. You are supposed to even be the one choosing my anko". I shook my head at her.

She started telling something Rashad once did for her as she continued cooking. Our friends came around six, most of them actually. Two people were late but not too late.

Halima wanted it to fancy in a way. So, she got lamps around, hung a small banner saying 'we made it!', throw pillows on the floor around the food for us to sit. Too much, I told her but she didn't listen.

The next day, Eid. I wasn't sure how they did it but after subh, Baba said we'll leave for the mosque by 8:30. We left for our rooms after. I went to my balcony just in time to see the brighten up slowly and sun come up. I am always fascinated by the activities that take place in the sky.

I sat there for the longest time before halima came into my room.

"What are you doing? You are supposed to be getting dressed!". I rolled my eyes, leave it to halima to be dramatic over the smallest things.

I went to the bathroom and took my bath, avoiding the mirror. I'm afraid of looking at myself in the mirror. Seeing the scars reminds me of bad memories.

I dressed in a matching abaya with halima's and went back into the room. Halima was fully dressed, I wrapped my hijab and then we went down to join faruq and Baba.

"Let's take one selfie". Halima rose her phone up and we huddled together looking up at her screen. They all had bright smiles except me and knowing no amount of persuading from halima will make me do so, she didn't protest. Besides there wasn't time for arguments.

The truth is, because I'm not use the smiling, I think if I do, I'd look weird, it feels weird so I just keep it neutral.

We got to the mosque in time. I felt different while praying, my first Eid prayer in years. We went back home after that. The cooks hired, had already done their job, so we ate. I only took two samosas and a bottle of malt. Then halima insisted it was picture time.

She made us take lots of it, I retired to my room after that. I needed sleep, I didn't sleep well last night and after subh I didn't sleep either. I took sleeping pills to help and soon I was gone.

The next time I woke up was to halima waking me to pray. She said I already missed zuhur and it was almost time for asr. I did that and then put my abaya back on from earlier and went downstairs. I could hear voices from where I was. I expected three people but instead there were four. Baba, faruq, halima and a man.

"Did you sleep well?". Baba asked. I looked at him.

"Yes".

"You remember Hashim right?". Am I supposed to, but I think it's his first son, he looks like batool. Baba also said we used to play when we were little, I don't remember though.

"No". I looked at the Hashim and he had that 'are you even serious look'.

I looked away and walked to sit beside halima.

"You should, you guys used play everytime you meet". Halima explained like she was always there.

"Except we are no longer kids". I whispered so only she could hear. She rolled her eyes.

"I need to work on something". I said, I wanted to leave. Baba gave me a knowing look but didn't object to what I said so I went upstairs and luckily annoor was online and we planned on my coming to her house to visit the next day.

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Honestly, I don't blame you if you don't like this chapter. I was sort of bored writing it but the next is better. Promise.

So, ignore the it not being nice and vote. Loves!