Ch. 20 - Void Stiles (2) pt. 2

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This one's pretty short and was requested so I decided to add it for the dramatic type purposes. It's basically here to get you even more in the feels for the aftermath of what happened in the previous part!

 It's basically here to get you even more in the feels for the aftermath of what happened in the previous part!

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Stiles' POV

It's been one week since Scott and the others were able to save me. My best friend hasn't been able to look at me the same way he had before. I understand though, I killed his first love. Lydia, on the other hand, can't even look at me. I not only killed one of her best friends, but both.

When I was released from the nogitsune, the only emotion I could feel was unimaginable guilt. The feeling consumed me and has been slowly eating away on the inside. It's all my fault this happened. It's my fault I had one of the oni stab Allison through the chest. And it's my fault I shot y/n in the head. Apparently, I didn't kill her, but I might as well should have. She's completely brain dead. There's nothing anyone can do to save her.

Tears roll down my cheeks at the thought of her really being gone. My hands find there way to my hair as I forcefully shove them through at an attempt to calm myself. But it doesn't work. My airway begins to feel as if it's closing in on itself. I gasp for air, trying to get some oxygen to my lungs, but it's no use. All I seem to think about is how it's all my fault. I can't help to think that I deserve this. Maybe the guilt will stop if I just die.

I sit back in the chair and continue to breathe heavily with my eyes squeezed shut. I don't even realize someone has entered the hospital room - y/n's hospital room - until I feel a hand on my knee. My eyes dart anxiously around before they finally land on Lydia. An immense amount of worry is etched across her face as she speaks to me. All I'm able to hear is the pounding of my heart in my ears.

I focus on her lips to see them forming the word, "Breathe." She then shows me filling her lungs with air then releasing it through her 'o' shaped mouth. I copy what she's doing and continue to do it until I finally notice my body begin to calm. As soon as I'm stable enough, Lydia wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I snake my arms around her and return the embrace.

I can feel the guilt still there, eating away and there's nothing I can do about the feeling. As if sensing this, she pulls back and tells me, "It's not your fault Stiles. You didn't do those things and you know it. The nogitsune possessed your body." I nod my head as more tears begin to flow down my cheeks like streams.

"I could've tried harder. I could've saved her," I said between sobs as my head falls onto Lydia's shoulder. She once again wraps her arms around me as her hands find my hair in a soothing manner.

Another voice is heard from the opposite side of the bed causing us to break away in curiosity, "It's time." I notice the knowing look on Lydia's face as Scott enters into the room. Mrs. McCall has a sad expression across her face as her words were spoken.

I immediately know what's to come. They're taking her off life support since it's basically pointless. With no brain activity for this entire week, it's pretty obvious she's a goner. I cringe at my choice of words as I see Mrs. McCall walk over towards her machine. She shuts everything down.

Within the next couple of minutes we all just watch her. The four of us know she's dead, but it's hard to believe. It looks as if she's peacefully sleeping. My body moves on it's own accord as I make my way over towards my first and only love, y/n. I let the tears cascade down my cheeks and to drip off my face onto hers. My fingers shakily move through her hair as I try to remember her face. Although, I don't think I'll ever forget it. It's forever engraved within my mind.

"I love you," I whisper through my silent sobs before placing my head against the side of her bed. I hear the sounds of other people moving and distant words being spoken, but it's as if I'm numb.

As I place my hand within her limp one, I know I'll never be the same. She's gone, because of me and it's something I'll have to carry through the rest of my pathetic life.

It's pretty short, but like I said it's basically just a filler of the aftermath. I hope you guys enjoyed and I'm planning on becoming more active with this book. (Yet I say that every time)

Bye my lovelies! ;-)

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