The Nearness of You

Chapter 19

Livy and the children had taken awhile to adjust to each other and it had been a tough road to begin with. She knew nothing about being a mother and she was hesitant to try and play the mother card with Gabriel. It was easier with Ilsa and Maria because they just wanted to be cuddled and loved, but Gabriel wasn't sure what he wanted. He still felt loyalty to his mother, but he was desperate to be loved too.

The first month had been dedicated to getting everyone settled in school, bedrooms designed, and clothes bought. It had been a fulltime job and she couldn't have done it without Raoul. Declan helped when he could, and he was always home for dinner and helped with homework, but he had to be at work during the day which left most of the work to her and Raoul. But she wasn't complaining because she loved every second of it. She loved the way the house filled with their little voices and their bickering or whining.

She had never dreamed that she could care for them as much as she did in such a short time. Everytime she saw them they made her heart glad.

It had been a struggle to keep her job and complete her courses at school, but she only had one more month to get through before she was done with the semester. She was going to stay in school but she would give up her job and drop down to one or two classes a semester until things settled down.

She and Declan had married at City Hall with the children and Raoul in attendance. It had been a simple affair and they had all gone out for a celebratory lunch afterwards. Other than a few chaste kisses Declan hadn't made good on his promise that their marriage would be a real one. They still had separate bedrooms and they didn't never talked to each other about anything other than the children. They had gone out a few times to keep up appearances, but she got the impression that he wanted to keep situation with the children low key, so she played along.

Livy had sent the children to bed an hour earlier but Ilsa had had a bad dream and had needed comforting, so Livy had brought her to her room and she had fallen asleep on the bed next to her while she tried to study for an exam that she had in the morning.

She had left her door open to listen for Maria in case she awakened. If she did, and she found Ilsa missing, there would be more tears.

Livy had just read the same sentence three times and she was about to give up for the night when she heard a tapping on her door and looked up to find Declan watching her as he leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb.

"Did she have another bad dream?"

"She did," Livy looked down at Ilsa with concern. Out of all of the children she was the one that was having the most trouble with bad dreams. It made Livy worry about what she had been through and seen. She knew that Gabriel was just as traumatized, but he had grown accustomed to internalizing it and hadn't figured a way to let it all out yet, to deal with it.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Declan asked as he took in her nightclothes and books.

"Sure," she replied as she looked down at Ilsa, wondering if she should take her back to bed.

"I'll take her, I don't want her to overhear." He picked up the small girl, who looked even smaller in his strong arms, and carried her back to her room.

Livy took the time to close all her books and stack them on her night stand.

When he returned he closed the door behind him and sat on the bed next to her, much the same way he had when she had been sick. Only this time he was fully dressed in jeans and a pullover. It was cashmere and it looked so soft she wanted to rest her head against his chest and go to sleep, just as she had the night she had been ill.

Livy adjusted the pillows behind her and her arm brushed his as she did so, she handed him an extra one and he took it with a word of thanks before ramming it behind his shoulders.