A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 5: Black and White are the Colors of the Soccer Ball

"Life isn't black and white. It's a million gray areas, don't you find?" ~Ridley Scott

Lydia_deJong  You should go check her account. She makes covers and they are pretty cool. She made one for this story and I am elated because I'm terrible at making covers for myself. I wanted to say thank you to her for making something for me just out of the blue. 🙂

The tiles on the bathroom floors are flecked with white, which bother my eyes. I close them once more and decide that sniffling is better than bawling like a baby.

I think that no one is going to come for me, that my newfound friendship was a hoax all along. After all, my own brother thought that it was almost impossible for me to make friends.

Someone's fist pounds against the door, rattling in my ears. I wipe away some of the excess moisture, feeling my puffy face. I'm sure it's bright red, like a tomato.

"Open up!" It sounds like Delilah and the brazenness of her tone indicates it, but I'm not sure. I unlock the stall and peer through the crack in the door. Those dark eyes stare at me with an emotion I cannot place. I don't even try to decipher.

She opens the door before I can and pulls me by the arm, her fingers steadfast to the flesh on my arm. I wince as her fingernails dig in.

"Your brother didn't mean it." She's silent after this, keeping a steady pace as we make it back to the cafeteria. I want to struggle against her, but I know it's no use. She's determined to get me back to my brother. She drags me to the table, and when I notice Toby's face he doesn't have his marigold smile. His mouth is turned down and his eyebrows are furrowed. I'd say that he was mad, but then I'd probably get it wrong. When he gets mad his eyes light up like fire.

He stands, so tall next to me. He takes my body and crushes it against his, and I can feel my frail bird's bones almost crunching by the pressure of his arms. I hold in the gasp that's threatening to puff out of my mouth.

I feel so fragile, just like the ceramic figurine of a girl that my parents expect me to be, the thing they hope that I am. They don't want me to stay in that loop where I cannot get out; better to be predictable than not.

He releases me, and by this time most of the cafeteria has decided that they need our embrace in their daily stretch of lunch. Even the soccer players turn their heads to us, ignoring their food to stare at the spectacle in front of them. Nathan pins his eyes on me and I have to look away.

I sniffle lightly and look at Toby. His eyes can't seem to meet mine.

"I'm so sorry. You know I didn't mean it." He sounds so guilty, and I know that he'd never mean something like that, but it still hits home.

"Yeah." This time it's me that doesn't meet his questioning gaze, and I look at my shoes instead.

He picks my chin up with his fingers and makes me look. He's commanding me to look, telling me to engage in this conversation. Like my brother is a stranger, I do not want to speak to him. It'd be better if he left me alone for now.

"Don't shut me out just yet little sister. I'll make it up to you."  He's thinking out loud, and I'm not sure if I was supposed to hear that.

Noah, with those pretty blue eyes, stares at me directly, heading over to my brother and I.

"Why don't I talk to her for a second? Let her cool down, man." His whispers are loud, loud enough for me to pick up on. Do I look mad? Does my expression imply this?

He takes my arm with a gentleness I would have never expected from someone so large, and pulls me to the side. I wipe away a tear that has gathered, turning my head so that no one can see. I want to hide in the fabric of my shirt, disappear so that I don't feel everyone's eyes.