A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 22: Pitch is the Color of the Dream

"Bad dreams are ghosts of our fears and worries, haunting us while we sleep." ~Maria V. Snyder

I wake up in a cold sweat, the pillow soaked. My heart is racing and I hear someone screaming. Someone is shaking me, but I'm not registering it. I realize that the screaming is me.

Pitch is the color of the dream.

"It's going to be okay Hazel!" Toby's voice is there, and more people gather in my room. My mom and dad appear out of nowhere. I try to hide my face, which I'm sure is red and blotchy fromm screaming and crying.

All I can hear is the snap of Theo's bone as his father broke it. All I can hear is Theo's mother as she screamed at him to never come back. I hear the wail of the siren as the police and an ambulance came to help Theo.

All while I did nothing. I stood there, frozen in place.

I fell the the ground and continued to stare. I still cannot fathom what Theo was doing to make me feel better. It was absurd considering the situation.

"You're going to be okay, Hazel. Don't think about it." His face was a mask of pain, his Carolina eyes filled with tears. I saw his eyes flit over to his father as he left, and I felt like I needed to go and comfort Theo.

I didn't know how.

The worst thing is that I felt detached. I didn't understand the situation enough. It's like I was seeing it, but I wasn't really living it. The whole time Theo thought I was having an episode, when all it was was a misunderstanding. I couldn't comprehend what was happening.

I can't stop screaming now. I understand it perfectly now.

Theo is hurt badly, both mentally and physically. He has been for a really long time. I don't know how long his father has been hurting him, or the rest of his family, but it's been long enough.

"Hazel," Toby's yelling at me. He's basically shaking me, and all it's doing is making things worse.

"Stop it!" I scream, trying to push him away. All I can feel are suffocating hands, hands that are going to strangle me if I don't pry them off of me.

"It'll be okay, Hazel. It's me, Toby." I can hear something in my brother's voice. It sounds kind of like mine in the darkness. His eyes reflect from the moon, a pretty, tear-filled blue. One rolls down his cheek.

I can see my mother out of the corner of my eye, and my father holding her. She's practically sunken in on herself, shielding her face away from me. My father stares at me while I lose control, while everything that I've built up falls down.

My wrists start to ache. I start to ache. My whole body shakes.

All of a sudden it goes away, because I hear a voice. I hear Theo's voice. It's coming from nowhere and everywhere. I look to Toby. His phone shines over the darkened room, casting a ghostly glow on his face. I can hear Theo clearly, although his words are slurred.

"Hey Hazel." I don't see his face, but I can imagine his eyes. They're soft right now, filled with that in between sleep haze, and his voice sounds heavy with fatigue. I'm sure his body is trying to rest right now.

"Yes?" I try to keep the tears out of my voice, although the notion is futile. He'd be able to see through anything. Everyone would.

It's just me that can't understand emotion.

"I'd really like it if you came to see me tomorrow. It would make me feel better." I realize that it's probably really early in the morning, and yet, Theo is still up and ready to take a call. Ready to answer just for me.