Your Point of View
"Are...are you really sure that's the way you feel?" I asked, still resisting to believe that he just said all of the impossibles.
I want to just slap myself for not realizing what he meant and acting like I'm innocent about it even if I am not. What the fuck am I thinking?
"Tch. Right until now, you still refuse to believe my words?" He sadly questioned me, a hint of disappointment found in his voice.
I didn't dare replying. I don't want to cause any more trouble now nor I want to offend someone again.
Who knows, right? Just imagine what kind of shit my mouth can do.
I mean, yes, I already hurt him with my words a couple of times, on different times and places. I am conscious about it.
But tonight? This is exceptional. This is different. Entirely different from all of those days. Because...because "like" is a different topic for me.
Tonight, I saw a different side of Levi. The sad and emotional him. A side that he rarely-no, seldomly shows to everyone else.
And now, I am witnessing it.
I stared at the seemingly blank floor, speechless as well as Levi does. I don't know what to say or what to do. One wrong move, it's like I'm over.
Minutes passed, and the tension swarming between us is still around. If this continues, everything might end up to nothing.
Even if he isn't telling me everything directly, I know it. I am well aware that he likes me.
But right until now, he's right. I still refuse to believe it.
The reason?
I know that every single thing of these are meaningless. Because sooner or later, everybody would hate me.
Everybody will see the real me.
Maybe today, Levi still don't see it. But what's the point of being close to him knowing that he has these special feelings for me if one day, he'll be my biggest opponent?
Levi is one of the most interesting guy I have ever met. He's strong, gorgeous, has this fighting spirit, and all. He's your dream guy, actually.
He may be violent, arrogant, dangerous, annoying, and irritating, but despite that, he's a nice person. For me, at least.
But other than that, I still have no deeper feelings for him.
But you know what? It feels somehow right not to return the feelings he has for me. If I did, not only I am the one who'll be hurt in the end, when that time arrives. Maybe even him.
That's why I think it's pointless. We've got no chance. Even if I'd had a crush on him, it's still fucking impossible to get away from the hell that is still chasing me.
I could only laugh at how cruel it is. In the end, I've always got no choice. In the end, I am always the black sheep.
After somewhat thousand years, my mouth decided to break the deafening silence.
I childishly laughed out loud.
I don't care on what may Levi think of me for suddenly laughing out of nowhere. Right now, I just want to ease the pain inside of me in my own way. Yes, laughing.
"Tell me... the hell you're laughing for?" Levi asked, making me stop a little.
"Levi... Thank you for making me feel that someone still appreciates me. I never thought that you'll like a stupidly insane bitch like me. But I'm sorry, I just... can't. I can't return the feelings you have for me. Everything... it's all pointless." I said in a girlish voice.
I didn't notice that there's already a tear falling down from my eyes. It's stupid. Why am I crying for someone I don't even completely know? Why am I acting like this whenever it comes to Levi? Am I falling for him, too?
Fuck, I don't even know myself.
Really, who am I? I am fucking unsure. It's like a have a thousand clones that I can't tell who's the real me anymore.
Am I the badass one? The scaredy-cat one? The good, weak girl? The helpless burden? The strong one?
I... can't say which.
From that day, my world went different from the old one I adapted. From the simplest things to the complicated ones, everything changed. My life was entirely fucked up.
Tears continued flowing down from my cheeks, which made me realize that I am already crying... in front of him.
Levi suddenly walked closer to me, merely seperating our bodies.
"(Y/n)... Stop crying," He said, desperately wiping off my tears.
"Oi... Stop it already. I can't believe you're such of a crybaby, you brat." Levi awkwardly stated, making me faintly chuckle.
"And I can't believe how clingy you are tonight. Stop it already." I teased back, mocking him.
"It's your fault for making me clingy." Levi rolled his eyes, seemingly affected with what I've said.
"But seriously... I apologize. I apologize for not returning your uh... admiration. I mean, I admire you as a Captain but-"
"It's fine. Who am I to expect something from you, anyways?" He replied with a comforting manner.
"At least I'm not hiding something anymore." Levi sighed, feeling defeated of this attempt.
He started walking away from me, nearly exiting through the door.
For one last time, I muttered his name, intentionally calling him.
"I'm sorry, Levi Ackerman,"
I was surprised to see Levi's face turn into a frown. Did I say something wrong?
He replied in confusion. "It's Levi."
"Just Levi."
YOU ARE READING
A Choice with no Regrets (Levi x Reader)
Fanfiction(Y/n) was once a weak, homeless girl who found herself in the Underground City, but was taken by Kenny the Ripper. He raised her, he taught her everything she needs to survive. Until one day, he ordered her to steal one of the 3D Manuever Gear from...
