All For What!

45

Maryam was seated in her room, in her bed. Her legs folded underneath her chin and her hands wrapped around them. She couldn't shake off the words Saeed had said to her. The words kept on repeating itself in her head like a mantra. She couldn't believe Saeed of all people would say that to her. What puzzled her most was the reason he married her, knowing fully well she was career oriented. "Why can't he just accept what I want wholeheartedly? Is this what he meant by 'I will always support you in every way I can'?" The question which she had no answer to was directed to herself. Only when she felt something salty between her lips did she realize she had been shedding tears all along. "I'm really tires of living this way. What must I do?" She asked herself. Even in the slightest, she couldn't bear her husband's anger towards her. It felt as if someone was stabbing her in the heart repeatedly.

She was broken out of her trance when the door pushed open.

"Sa-" she raised her head and her gaze darted to Zainab. She had not expected her to be in the room and her presence ignited some kind of anger in her. Without thinking, she said the first thing that came to her mind - she acted on impulse. "And who gave you the permission to barge into our room like that?!" She yelled.

"I did-"

"Please just leave me alone." She cut her off.

"Wha-"

"Didn't you hear what I said or do I have to repeat myself?" She asked, totally psyched up.

"I heard, but will you just li-"

"Zainab!" She called warningly, but that didn't stop her from carrying on.

"Listen to what I have to say. I didn't barge into the room, okay? I knocked on the door severally, but you weren't answering. I thought something bad must have happened to you." She heaved a sigh. "I was worried about you."

Maryam rolled her eyes - Saeed must have told her all about their problems and she was there to query her."You don't have to be. I'm alright."

"You aren't." Zainab said, matter-of-factly. "Sadness is written all over your face."

Knowing she had already be caught and there was no excuse she could give to Zainab to leave her alone, she sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to. There was just so many things on my mind."

Zainab smiled knowingly. "It's expected. You're pregnant." She grinned. "I'm not a tad bit angry at you for the way you spoke to me, because I know the reason why you are so so moody."

With a closed lip smile, Maryam nodded her head. "Thank you."

"It's okay." She replied and sat on the end of the bed, facing her. "So... Will you tell me what is wrong, or should I find out myself?"

"Please just let it go. It's between your brother and I. We will sort things out as soon as we can, okay?"

"Don't you trust me?" She probed.

"I do. I trust you, but-"

"I promise to be on your side." She raised a hand.

"I'm sorry, Zainab, but I still can't tell you anything. It's a matter between married couple."

Laying her heart bare, she spoke; "alright then if you insist."

Maryam's fingers twitched nervously. She had lots on her mind. Something was bothering her and she wouldn't rest until her questions were answered. "Where is Sa'eed?"

Popping a chewing gum in her mouth, she replied. "I think he's in the study. I saw him going towards that direction."

"Uhmm..." She trailed off. "Did he tell you anything?"