Remembering You For Eternity

2.30 Whisper From Another Lifetime

I have two older sisters, born of different mothers, who are disciples of Chun Ping Gu sect. One was born of the late Empress, one of Imperial Father's concubine. I also have older brothers, one who is under tutelage of Hui Lin sect, the other in Wu Shan sect. Both are the Empress' children as well.

All of us, the Dragon's direct bloodline, are talented to some extent, but Shifu always expects more from me. Apparently, I am a talent that no record of Wu Shan sect has ever seen before. I cultivated and broke-through at an unprecedented rate. Even in Wu Shan sect, I was constantly called a freak.

Zuo JinHai, my half-brother, has always been indifferent towards me. I don't have anything against him, nor towards my other half-siblings that I hardly see anyway. In the sect, we have always maintained just enough respect to stay out of each other's way. There is no sibling rivalry, affection, or any familial bond. At least, not that I can feel. Towards each other, we are just fellow cultivators who coincidentally possess the same genes.

Mother, the woman who gave birth to me, who apparently loved Imperial Father to the point of foolishness – I have heard the story from Shifu – has never cared much for me. She was not a bad mother. Physically as a child, I had wanted for nothing. The Imperial Palace does not lack riches that a small boy would want for. However, the most 'love' she has shown me was when she looked at me while I was eating, as she smiled quietly. She smiled, sometimes with a silent sigh escaping her lips, with torment in her eyes. What did she see in me? When she was still alive, she had hardly touched me, as if holding my hand would bring pain to her.

I feel nothing, but sometimes I wonder, what did she give birth to me for? To remind her of Imperial Father? That at least with me, she will always have a piece of Imperial Father nearby?

What good was it, when she died soon after?

If there is one person that I care enough, respect enough, treat like a family, it would be DaShixiong.

Shen Wei DaShixiong acts as if he was my mother, my father, and my brother. Ever since I left the Palace years ago, he is like a fly that you would never be able to get rid of, no matter how much you think how annoying he is.

Anyway, I have been living fine with his constant chatter and meddling.

I thought, to keep living like this, to strive for Dao – whatever that means for me – will be my life. If I could help DaShixiong and Shifu maintain the sect, that would be enough reason to look forward to the future.

Then my cultivation stagnated, after that uneventful journey to fetch the red lotus Shifu had asked me for.

I said uneventful, because I don't really remember the majority of my journey in between leaving Wu Shan sect, and finding the pond. The pond, which was supposed to contain pure qi, was full of rotting plants and deformed small animals. That much I remember, the existence that should not be. The world should not have those deformities.

When I arrived with my martial brothers and sisters at Hui Lin sect, I expected little out of ordinary. As an Enlightened, despite having stagnated for a number of years, I know I was still capable enough to bring prestige to the sect. Shen Wei DaShixiong cared for the sect, so I care for it too. Wu Shan sect would not be embarrassed by us.

I expected nothing extraordinary. And someone extraordinary came along.

I could not see her face then. But I remember, as vivid as daylight, the pull in my heart. The sudden pull I felt, that particular day. The sensation was familiar. I have experienced it... when I left to seek the red lotus, have I not? I don't remember.