Irrevocably In Love

Chapter 3

"O prophet, tell your wives, your daughter, and the wives of the believers that they shall lengthen their garments.

Thus, they will be recognized (as righteous women) and avoid being insulted. Allah is forgiver, most merciful."

[Al-Ahzab: 33:59]

                               ***

Rida was silently laying on her bed, thinking about her past. She glanced up at the clock and realized that Rehan might have already left for the dinner. She got up and looked up at the time to see it stroking 12 past 10. She calculated his time in her mind and after she was clear with the timing, she got up and did her ablution to pray tahajjud. She wore her hijab and stood in front of the Almighty who controlled the entire world. Who has the power over everything and everyone.

She knew she wasn't the perfect muslimah, she wasn't perfect in any aspect but she always tried to be at least a practicing muslimah who strived hard and would try praying five times a day. She knew trying wasn't the key word, but the shaytaan would always play with her. She would pray regularly until her that period of month and after that would get over, the first few days she would just read fardh prayers, that too lazily. But she now wanted to beat the shaytaan. She did not wanted him to overcome her. The last time she had did, she had suffered. And she still is. The pain is still not healed. The pain is still fresh to anyone to make it more deeper, and then she did not wanted to give that power to anyone. No one.

She prayed her first rakaah, spending most of her time in sujood, where Allah is the closest. A single tear dropped from her eye while she continued praying. She always took the longest time to pray. But she was never satisfied. How can a heart find peace when even after knowing that there are certain things in Islam that are not right, and yet sinned? Just how?

Taking pictures, Listening to songs, Going out for movies, Gossiping, Backbiting, Jealousy, Anger, Talking to a non mahram, Being in a relationship, not covering yourself completely this were now the casual lifestyle this generation has started but isn't this not right? This is the common sins we do yet when we ask for forgiveness, he forgives us all, as if he did not see anything, as if we never did anything! He is the most merciful and forgiving.

Rida raised her hands up in the air, her lips trembling, her hands shaking while her tears flowing. She did not know what to ask for? Whether she should ask for her parents, who one day are the couple she admire, while the next day they are a couple for which Rida stays away from Marriage? Or for her Sister, For her happiness, to guide her on the righteous path, to let her start wearing the hijab? Or for the ummah, who are sinning as if no one is watching them? Or for those people, who are murdered, raped, killed and are missing and for what? For just being Muslims? Or for herself, to let her heal from the Heart break?

She made Dua for all. For her parents, for her sister, for her best friends and their family, for the ummah, for everyone except herself! She couldn't bring herself to ask for something for herself, so she sat there on the mat, with her hands still raised to let Allah SWT understand what was in her heart, what she wanted and what she needed the most.

She stroked her hand on her face, wiping the tears on her face too. She got up and took her phone in her hand. She did have one message and she did not need to say who the person was. Rehan. His entry in her life was a life changing event for her. She was just trying to mend her broken pieces of her heart, that were in so many pieces that she had lost it's parts. And she exactly knew whom she had lost it too.