How To Love✓

11.

Amara

I closed the door behind me and checked the time on my watch.

7:45pm. Early enough to take a warm shower. Not even bothering to put on the room light, I headed straight for the bathroom, with the moonlight flowing in the space through the window. I started the shower, letting it run until it had gotten lukewarm. In the meantime, I stripped to my naked form and adjusted my tubes so it wouldn't get wet.

I placed a feet under the water and nod in satisfaction. I sigh as soon as the warm water hit my pores and leaned against the tiled wall in thought.

I didn't even realise the tears started cascading down my cheeks.

I cried for home, I cried for my loved ones, I cried for myself.

Having to acknowledge that I could go to sleep any night and not wake the next morning is terrifying. That my lungs can give out anytime. As much as I put on this tough act and say that I don't care if I die because it will relieve me of my misery and loneliness and also other's misery, I know that I fear to see that day.

I know that I'm selfish because I always put my feelings over others. But sometimes their feelings are more important than mine.

I sigh and pull myself out of my train of thoughts. I take my time, enjoying the water a bit, and washed my hair. After finishing, I wrapped my hair in a messy bun and soaped my body in a foamy lather, rinsing throughout. Once I was finished I cut off the water, wrapped the towel around me and walked into the room.

Oh what a shock I was about to encounter.

I switched the light on instantly relaxing until I turned around and saw the chocolate haired boy sprawled across Syl's bed, hands behind his head, grinning at me.

"How did you get in here?" I screech loudly, accidentally knocking over Sylvia's coat hanger.

Before I could've noticed, the towel that covered my body started loosening as I tried steading myself and holding onto the oxygen tank.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath as I realised that if I didn't do something now, the towel would be at my ankles.

"Here let me help you," Lucien offers, jumping up and over to me before he got flashed. My face reddened as his fingers grazed my skin, tightening the soft fabric around my chest area and tucking it under my left arm.

"There," he says smiling. "Also, you left the door open."

"Is that an invitation for you to just waltz into our room whenever you want to?" I roll my eyes at him and tried fixing the coat hanger without bending over.

"Well you should stop leaving the door unlocked. That way you won't have to see me," his smile turned into a smirk, biting his bottom lip.

"Also to keep other intruders from entering, especially when you're like this," he adds, indicating my state with his finger.

"Fine," I see his point. Though I wonder if any other person would actually do that here.

"But could you just, wait in the hallway while I get dressed? I really don't want Syl walking in on us with me half naked. We already couldn't get anything past her the morning she met us sleeping together," I bite my lip, looking at him.

He only nods and leaves me to change. I shake my head and grab a large tee, a pair of shorts and some underwear, throwing it over me. I wrap the towel around my hair to dry and walk over to the door. As I go to reach for the door handle, he opens the door and walks in again.

"How did yo-"

"I heard your footsteps," he says, making his way over to Sylvia's bed and readjusting to his previous position.