How To Love✓

41.

Amara

The final week of school approaches. I made up my mind to collect my grades in person instead of online. Though, I was more keen on seeing Lucien than collecting a piece of paper.

I really wish that he was still on campus, since it's the Christmas break, students will be spending the holidays with their families, so I'm hoping that I can catch him before he leaves.

I was also glad that not many students were on campus so I didn't have to deal with all the stares and whispers. Though, a few that were still greeted me and asked me if I was alright.

My breaths became shaky and my heart pounded swiftly as I was walking through the hallway towards the dorm with my boots clicking extremely loud.

As I go to bend the corner, a familiar face steps infront of me, almost bumping into me.

"Sorry I didn't see you there," she mumbles under her breath, adjusting the sleeves of her blazer.

I half-smile and cleared my throat. "Not your fault we happened to cross the same hallway at the same time Lina."

She only nods, averting her gaze to the suitcase that sat next to her.

I break the silence. "Well I hope you have a great... Christmas break and all the best for the New Year," I shoot her another half-smile and go to walk off, when she stops me by faintly calling my name.

I whip myself around, crossing my hands infront of me.

"I... I-I-I just wanted to say... that I'm sorry, for everything I put you through," she apologises and for the first time she looked guilty... like she actually cared for someone who wasn't herself.

When she noticed that I didn't give her a response, she continues, "Lucien really cares about you and I get it now. I've never seen him care so much for someone other than himself. I don't know... I guess I was just jealous."

"But why would you be jealous of me? I did nothing to you nor everyone who judges me for no reason," I say calmly, not wanting to make a scene.

She flares her hands around. "It's just.... I've known Lucien since we were little children. We met through our parents and I was like family to him and his mom. I'm sure he told you that he ran away when he was a teenager, but when he did, I was completely devastated. I would call his mom everyday, asking her if he came home and when she responds with a "no" I would cry myself to sleep. I was in love with him, ever since we were little. Well at first I thought it was puppy love but as we got older, it just ... started to grow and i got more fond of him. But he only saw me as a friend which made me change for him in hopes that he would find interest in me.

So I changed my look, I started wearing more revealing clothing, talked and walked and acted differently, just for him to notice me. When he did, it's not the way I expected him to. We dated for about a month or two and I realised he only dated me so I feel satisfied, knowing that I got what I wanted. Now we are both in the same college so I'm thinking... maybe he's the one that would change for me.

But now seeing him choose you over me made me furious, knowing that I did so much for him and it's like all my hardwork went down the drain."

I found myself feeling sympathy for this girl infront of me. She only puts up this tough act to conceal the fact that she is so much as broken and fragile as any one of us here, but she is too insecure to show it.

Without realising, I place a hand on her shoulder, instantly shocking her.

"Lina, you should NEVER have to feel like you have to change for someone other than yourself because if you do then that person is not for you. Forcing to make something work isn't going to make you feel good about yourself. So you should also understand how he feels as well. I'm sure Lucien does care for you but you just have to accept where he wants you to be in his life," I explain sympathetically.

She smiled, wiping a single tear that dropped from her right eye. It's the first time I saw her smile and in all honesty, it suits her.

"I know and that's why I wanted to apologise," she responds, placing her hand over mine and gently shaked it.

"Apology accepted," I say and let my hand fall to my side. "There are a billion fishes in the sea and one day one of those lucky fish would be gifted with a rare catch like you. Always remember that you are a queen and therefore you should not feel the need to let someone take off that crown off of your head."

"You are a gem Amara, thank you for being so nice to me, even after all that I've put you through. Why don't we hang out sometime, when school starts again January?" she suggests, her eyes beaming with hope that I'll say yes.

And I did, making her jump to hug me. I nearly lose my balance but when I regained it, I pull her in closely.

Just then, I heard a door open from behind where we stood. We both look over to see who was watching us.

It was Lucien and I mentally squealed. Lina clears her throat and looks to me, smiling again. "Go get your boy," she says. I nod, saying goodbye.

As I turn to watch her walk off, pulling the suitcase behind her, I felt the hairs at the back of my neck raise.

I slowly turn around and nearly gasped as I realised how close Lucien stood infront of me. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes examined his attire from top to bottom. A black cable knit crew neck sweater hugged the muscular chest I love running my hands over, denim jeans and boots and a wool jacket.

When my eyes rested upon his, I wanted to get lost in his gorgeous gorgeous green eyes. I just get this feeling... everytime I'm around him. It's like when our eyes connect, our souls tangle, our hearts intertwine, trying to reach deeper and deeper into the meaning of our story.

I was so enamored with his beauty,  that is was hard for me to stop relishing in the idea that this human being in front of me is close to perfection for me.

Its like being so infatuated with beauty, pleasure, and satisfaction that it renders you motionless, or you dont want to stop exploring more about that beautiful person. Everything they about them just adds to their beauty and you dont want to stop knowing more pleasurable things about them.

"Want to go for a drive?" he suggests, his voice thicker and raspier than ever. I melt at the sound. I close my eyes for a moment and hum to myself.

I nod my head as my response and adjusted the fluffy jacket that lapsed across my body.

***

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