To Love or Not To Love

Chapter 53

A sparse amount of moonlight, filtering in through the vivid images painted on the window glass confirmed that their wait was still not over. Both Arnav and Khushi had given up hope that help would come before dawn.

Khushi's eyes were growing heavy by the minute. Yet she refused to close them. They kept going back to the flickering candle flame, that was almost going to die. Arnav had managed to find a matchbox and a few more candle stubs in one of the sconces. He had then begun lighting them one at a time; when the first one was about to burn out, he would light the second. He had two more left before they would run out of their only source of light.

Khushi looked at Arnav, who was busy replacing the almost burnt candle with a new one and thought of what had just transpired between them a few moments ago.

"Shhhh", he'd comforted her not knowing what had caused her to breakdown. She'd clung to him harder and cried some more. He'd gently caressed her hair, rubbing the back of her head in concentric circles with his palm to calm her down.

"Mia Cara," he whispered and Khushi had looked up at him, big black eyes filled with doubt and fear. He felt like a monster. He deserved to be called one. Her words from the long-ago fashion show echoed: "What if it had been your sister instead of mine?" He had dismissed it then. He couldn't dismiss it anymore. So Arnav Singh Raizada did the unthinkable. He held Khushi Kumari Gupta's shoulders and gently kissed her forehead. "Sorry," he said, in a barely audible whisper. And yet Khushi heard it. "Sorry for everything I put you through."

*****

Arnav's apology stunned Khushi. Focussing on what he'd just told her, made her temporarily forget all her fears. Now that she had considerably calmed down, she was busy fidgeting with her hair. Everytime she tugged on it, bob pins she had painstakingly used to keep her curls in place fell. Khushi either didn't notice or didn't care. But the growing mass of unruly curls was beginning to drive Arnav mad.

He looked at his phone once more. It only had 15 percent battery. There was still no reception. If he wanted his phone to work when they finally got out of this place, he would have to turn it off now.

With nothing better to do, Arnav decided to focus on the statue of Mother Mary holding baby Jesus. It was made out of white alabaster, beautifully carved. The emotions portrayed on Mother Mary's face somehow seemed both heavenly and earthly at the same time. The flickering candle flame gave her a serene aura, as she looked fondly upon her child, who she knew was the son of God. Did she know what the child would endure to free mankind from its sins? Did she know that her child would be betrayed by one of his own, for a mere thirty pieces of silver? Was she worried about the safety of her child after she departed for the heavenly abode? Perhaps, but none of that worry or concern was noticeable right now. All that was visible was her tremendous love for the child. It was as if she knew that the one thing that could protect her little baby was her true love and she endeavored to give him as much of it whilst he was still with her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Khushi snaked her hands through Arnav's arm and rubbed her palms together. "You can almost feel Mother Mary's undiluted love for her child."

Arnav looked at her, and back at the statue. "Mother's are like that Khushi," he whispered. "They do everything in their power to protect their child." And as if his tongue had a mind of its own, he continued, "including giving up their life."

Khushi stared at him, unable to comprehend the cryptic message and afraid to ask for more information. But if she had known him better, she would probably have noticed that lone teardrop he was fighting hard to keep within his eyes.

*****

Time continued to pass. Nobody could tell what the time was or how much longer it would be before the sun rose. It seemed to stretch its reach in a bid to win some kind of battle. The poor angels who looked towards time felt sympathetic for the human. They begged and pleaded time to move fast, urged it along to bring on the new day. But time stood still. When all their pleas fell on deaf ears, the angels asked time for a reason. Time replied it always moved at its own pace. The humans were the ones at war, wanting it to go fast and slow, turn back or move forward according to their whims and needs. Why? Asked the angels. So they can prove their supremacy, answered time. Why do they need to prove their supremacy over you? Asked the angels again. Because I'm the one who knows what has happened, what is happening and what is going to happen and have the power to set things right.

*****

In the chapel where Arnav and Khushi were stuck, the candle flame flickered once more. The dimensions of the wax surrounding the stub growing by the minute. Arnav got up to replace the candle. He just had one more left. It was getting cold inside the stone walls of the chapel. Khushi was fervently rubbing her hands against each other and against her feet in a bid to keep herself warm. Seeing her struggle, Arnav took his coat off and covered her with it. He then crouched next to her and proceeded to mimic her actions from not more than five minutes ago. Khushi looked at him, took his hands into hers and started rubbing them. Finding the deafening silence awkward, Khushi said, "ASR." Her speech drew a chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

She continued to pester, and he relented. "After all that we've shared, calling me ASR seems like a farce."

She smiled at that. It was true. She decided to end the farce.

"I accept."

"What?"

"Your reasoning. I'll call you Arnav."

And he chuckled once more. A small dimple barely formed near his right chin. She almost wanted to reach out and kiss it right then and there. How had she not noticed it before?

"Because I hardly smile Khushi," he stated as a matter of fact.

Wondering if she had spoken her thoughts aloud, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean the answer to your question. You were thinking about my faint dimple, weren't you?"

She smiled a bit more. "You're good at reading people's thoughts."

"I wish."

"What do you mean?"

And he told her truthfully. "I haven't been able to figure you out. You intrigue me. I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong and I've been wrong about you every step of the way.

"I thought you were illiterate, I was wrong. I thought I could scare you, I was wrong. I thought I could demean you, I was wrong. I thought I could hate you, I was wrong. I thought I could forget you, I was wrong. I have been wrong about you, every single time. And honestly, I'm tired of being wrong. So Khushi, if there is something going on between you and Aman, please tell me. It bothers me that I don't know what to believe. But I promise you I will believe whatever you tell me."

For a man who spoke so little, ASR had said quite a bit tonight. Aman had told her that although she was in love with Arnav if she had to get to him, she would have to exorcise him of ASR. She felt this would be a good time to start. While she was contemplating the best way to respond to his question, he asked again, a little more forcefully. "Do you love Aman?"

"No."

He exhaled, not knowing he'd held his breath in anticipation.

"Thank you," he said genuinely.

"Wait, Arnav," she said haltingly. "I haven't completely answered your question."

When he raised his eyebrow in response, she continued: "I don't love Aman, he is just a good friend, and yes my family has misunderstood the entire situation. But I do love someone else. My family doesn't know about him as yet. I plan on telling them once I get back home."

The monster was back, rearing its head, blowing fire out of its mouth, ready to attack.

"Who?"

"I haven't told him as yet and it's unfair that I tell you before I confess my feelings to the man himself."

Their friendship had just begun and it was already straying into unchartered waters.