To Love or Not To Love

Chapter 60

Khushi's thoughts were punctuated by the constant beeping of the monitor that was connected to her father's heart. The beeping sound meant her father was alive. Rubbing her hands against the paper cup that held her tea, her thoughts once again went back all that had happened in the last two weeks. She smiled at that.

"Shhh...Khushi. Everything is going to be alright," as soon as she had told him about her Babuji's heart attack. She had hugged him harder and cried. Despite their history, how did she always manage to find solace in his arms?

She looked at Arnav, but he was busy barking orders to people on his phone. "Your tickets have been advanced for tomorrow. The flight leaves at 4.30 in the morning."

She cried more. "Don't worry Khushi, I've already arranged for your Babuji to be airlifted from Lucknow. In the next three hours, he will be attended to by the best doctors at the All India Institute of Medical Science."

She smiled through her tears. Arnav Singh Raizada was a force of nature. She was glad she had him on her side.

By the time her flight had landed in New Delhi, her Babuji had already stabilized. The doctors were being cautious. After all, the rumor was that Shashi Gupta was an extremely important acquaintance of Arnav Singh Raizada. No one needed to know more than that.

Arnav had supported her in the best way he could, given that he was still in Milan. He had called every day to ask after her health and that of her father's. He had assured her not to worry about the money and even joked that AR could deduct 500 Rs from her salary every month until the loan was paid in full. Khushi smiled. She rarely smiled nowadays but conversations with Arnav always made her feel hopeful. He had personally spoken to doctors inquiring after the line of treatment and had asked them to keep him in the loop regarding all future recommendations for the patient. Khushi was grateful. She didn't know if she had in her to face all of it by herself.

The family had temporarily moved to New Delhi and were now living with Madhumati.

A sudden increase in the beeping frequency from the monitor jerked Khushi out of her thoughts. She rushed to call the nurse who promptly injected Shashi Gupta with a dose of Metoprolol Tartrate. The beeping frequency reduced before stabilizing. Khushi breathed.

*****

Standing in her shower, under scalding hot water, Khushi willed her fatigue to go away. It wasn't just physical. Khushi was emotionally exhausted. While the entire family took turns taking care of Shashi, the financial burden to keep the household running solely fell on Khushi's shoulders. And although she always tried to stay positive and chirpy in front of her family, her thoughts ran amok. She wished she had someone she could share her fears with. She was tired, tired of handling things on her own, of being strong. Glimpses of Payal and Garima hugging her and crying, Shashi surrounded by myriads of tubes and wires, Madhumati sitting in the waiting area with her prayer beads in hand didn't leave her mind. She had walked up to Madhumati and the aunt had hugged Khushi and cried. "Save Shashi," she had told her niece, "He's the only one I have left."

Her aunt's words had rekindled memories from a different accident. She remembered being surrounded by shards of broken glass when she was rudely woken up by an impact. Alone and scared, she had spent the next two days sitting in the corner of the local police station, eating and drinking whatever was given and keeping to herself, till her Bade Papa had come to take her with him. For the first time since her parents had passed away, 8-year-old Khushi had allowed her emotions to surface. She had hugged her Bade Papa and cried.

"Shhhh," Shashi had comforted her. "We're all there for you. You'll never be alone."

It had been five days since her parents had passed away. She was going back to Lucknow with her Bade Papa. But what then? Her little mind didn't understand much but somehow it had convinced her that she didn't have a home anymore. Where would she go from here? What would happen to her? Throughout the journey, she barely ate. Her Bade Papa was worried about her, but being a man, he didn't know how to deal with it. At night, when he lifted Khushi up to the middle berth of the second class compartment, coaxing her to sleep, he hesitantly kissed her forehead. "Bitiya, I will always be there for you." She had smiled, for the first time in five days.