Chapter 19

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"She knows, Edward. She knows so this has to end." I hissed down the phone as I glared out from the cliff. The few hours since Ren's revelation had only amplified the feelings that hit when I first set eyes on the Cullens' document. Now I was fighting hard to keep myself in control. A jump fuelled by these kinds of violent thoughts could be reversed but the scars they often left on the landscape could not. I didn't want to leave more destruction behind me.

"I don't understand. Who are you talking about?" I heard him whisper as he left a bustling room. I wondered where he and his precious wife were. Amongst friends? Family? Well-wishers to pride Bella on her love for her father and tell her how much he cared for her? They probably wouldn't tell her of how he missed her, felt the betrayal of her departure from both his life and humanity. I could only speculate since I didn't know him, but I'd seen enough of the world to take a guess.

"Your daughter," I murmured through tight lips.

"You must be mistaken. I would know." Edward sounded affronted. Of course to him she was an open book. She would never keep secrets from him, or so he thought.

"You would believe your own perception of her rather than me?"

"I'm not looking to fight with you, Sarelle. If you say she knows then I'll believe you. It's just hard to understand how she could have found out."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," I muttered as my mind flashed with the pages of the documented past. It was like some science project of my life, and he still had the gall to act oblivious. "Either way we can't keep sneaking around. Not anymore. It just makes us seem guilty, and what do we have to feel guilty about?"

"Nothing, but you know it isn't the guilt that causes us to keep our meetings secret." His voice was so soft and mellow. It wasn't the voice of a friend.

"What is the reason then, Edward? We're friends. We can't be accused of anything more." A sudden tiredness overtook me. We had trodden this path many times in the months of our renewed friendship. I'd paced it even more times in those few moments I had alone. It seemed we were always walking with our heads bowed down to the ground, missing what was in front of us. Or perhaps we didn't want to see where we were going because that way we could claim surprise and ignorance when we found ourselves in a place we hadn't meant to be. Maybe ignorance truly was bliss.

"I alone can't answer that. You've kept us a secret as much as I have. Not even Aslo knows." That smug tone was back in his voice, and I bit down on the anger that rose in my throat.

"This isn't right, Edward. Friends don't do this."

"I know." He sighed. I could almost hear his hand running through his hair.

I felt an all familiar stab of longing, the force of it causing my eyes to shut as if I could somehow shut out the feelings.

"If we can't be anything other than this then maybe we can't be friends," I whispered as the realisation of the words sunk heavy on my shoulders. I had been happy these past months. When I had been with him it had felt like a weight had been lifted. It seemed only now as it fell back into place that I realised just how light I had been.

The stunned silence on the other side of line broke with a heavy gasp. "I'll change. I'll try harder. I promise."

His gushing words only made the hurt worse. I shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't sound so desperate. We should never have gotten to this place.

"It won't work."

"Will you at least try? I don't want to just cut you out my life." His desperation was turning to anger. I could hear it in the way his words broke and deepened.

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