Drama Momma (Surprisingly Perfect Sequel)

Literally Life or Death

I kicked my legs back and forth under the picnic table, holding my growing belly with one hand and eating pancakes with the other. A fish lept out of the water. My heart was leaping for the boy across the table from me.

I seriously couldn't wait for him to hold my hand, tell me he loved me, and make everything feel right in the world. I was feeling a little nervous, but with how crazy my life was at this point, it was just another drop into that big mixing bowl of craziness.

"Poppy, you know how much you mean to me, and you know how much I love our baby girl," Chase said.

"Of course. I love her more than anything!"

"I want you to consider abortion."

Bits of pancake fell out of my mouth. A big cloud covered the bright sun that was shining down on the nature preserve. My palms were sweating and I tried to catch my breath.

Chase was by my side in seconds, holding me close and working his magic to calm me down from my panic attack.

"Shh, it's okay," he said, rubbing my back.

"No, it's not," I said, taking a few more slow breaths to calm down. "How could you say that to me?"

"I'm saying that for the good of our daughter and for ourselves, gumdrop," he said.

I swatted his hand away from my back. "Good for our daughter? What good does it do for her if she's dead Chase?"

"She wouldn't be dead. She just wouldn't be starting her life. A life that would be filled with all sorts of struggles and problems."

"I've got news for you," I said, putting my finger right in his face. "Her life has already started. She rolls over and kicks all day long! You've got a lot of nerve to say she isn't alive!

"Poppy, please, calm down," he said, taking my hand and holding it. "I really want you to think about this. Consider how much she'd struggle. Consider us. You're already so young, and so am I, plus we don't even live together. This is going to be hard enough as it is."

"I don't care."

"You're being stubborn again."

"And you're being an asshole for asking me to kill our daughter, just because she has a disability!"

"That's not why I'm telling you to get an abortion! I'm telling you to get one because I don't want our daughter to have a hard life. I don't want your life or mine to be any more difficult than it already is."

"A hard life is better than no life at all. Besides, you're her dad. You're Chase Hetcher. You have money practically coming out your ass. We have plenty of money to give her any kind of care she needs."

"Don't you think that's a little selfish, though? Having to make her go through so much therapy. She'll probably have issues with her muscles, have issues with her speech—"

"So just because she'll have a few issues, you think we should murder her?" I asked.

"Poppy, it's not like this is something small. It's Down Syndrome."

I looked into the eyes of my boyfriend, our hands still clasped together. My little girl pressed her foot right up against my belly button.

How could one little diagnosis be the difference between her literally living or dying in his eyes?

"That doesn't matter to me," I said.

"It might not matter now, but it will later. It's not like when she turns eighteen she'll be able to go to college and then be able to go out and live on her own. She'll be our responsibility for her entire life. We'll probably even outlive her."

"What part about 'I don't care' do you not get, Chase?"

"All of it. Because you're thinking with your heart and not your brain!" he said. He never raised his voice at me. Only with Jace. "Poppy, you need to let go."

"Okay. Got it," I said, letting go of his hand.

I closed my pancake box and got up from the table, then started walking towards the parking lot of the visitor center.

"Where are you going?" Chase asked.

"Someplace where I could get away from you. You want to kill your own daughter. You're a monster!"

I started running towards the visitor center, where I hid in the women's bathroom before he could reach me. I may or may not have chucked the pancake box at him to slow him down.

I found myself curled up in a ball on the toilet, starving, shaking, and feeling my life was crumbling to pieces.

"Poppy, please. I want to talk about this like adults!" Chase shouted from outside the room.

"You're telling me to kill our daughter! I never want to talk to you ever again!"

"Fine. Keep acting this way and see where it gets you in life. It can't always just be your way or the highway."

"You're...so wrong," I said under my breath.

I heard his footsteps get further and further away from the bathroom door. I wiped my tears on my shirt sleeve and checked my phone to see that my Uber was waiting out front.

I looked both ways when I got out of the bathroom. Chase was nowhere to be found in the lobby. Good.

I walked down the steps of the visitor center and out to my Uber in front of the building. The lady driving gave me a warm smile when I got in, but I think she could tell I didn't want to talk.

I was too busy staring at a text from Mom. Shit. How am I going to tell her? She was already so stressed with her big promotion and the move. I couldn't imagine what kind of a blow this would be to her.

I didn't even realize we were at the new house until I looked out the window. I opened the door and went in the house through the front, which was unlocked. Chrys was home with the boys because she was working the closing shift.

There was lots of giggling and laughter when I walked in. The boys were crawling already. I went to the living room down the hall.

Chrys was on the floor with Ollie, who was coming towards her from across the rug. Blaze was having a blast in his new jumper.

"Must be nice," I said. "How does it feel to have two healthy babies when I can't even have one?"

Chrys looked up at me. "Hey, how did it go? She's okay, right?"

Yeah! Just messing with you. She's totally fine. It was just some mistake in the bloodwork. I shook my head.

No.

I can't keep lying like this.

I dropped to the floor and into the arms of my sister, where I told her everything. Lies only made things harder, and my life was hard enough right now.