Ice Queen

Chapter 37 ~ "I'll fix this"

Sasha

What on earth am I going to do? It's like I don't know how to survive on my own without Nate, but he just can't be with me all the time. It's also not fair to distract myself with him, I need to deal with my issues.

It also doesn't work to have him running out of my backyard at seven a.m. That's just not fair and probably won't work again, as respectful as Nik and Alex are trying to be about this, I knew if they found Nate crawling in my window or staying with me in my room they'd kill him. Worse would be if my parents found out.

I wanted Nate and I to work and if my parents didn't trust the two of us together, nothing good would happen. Nate practically leapt out of my window this morning to avoid getting caught.

Last night was strangely....therapeutic. I realized a lot of things for myself that I hadn't even been thinking about. Like how much dad struggled when he was younger and how, most likely, that rage had carried over into present day. I realized how much my parents gave up when they were younger and how they needed each other.

It made me ask a lot of questions about myself. Would I be like my parents one day? Could we actually resolve our issues or would we just live with each other until I left? Did dad really care about me or did he care about skating?

All of it was so overwhelming to think about, and I really didn't have answers for any of it. That was why I was glad I told mom I wanted us to go to family counselling. I think dad and mom have a lot of issues they'd like to talk through and I think it'd be great for dad in particular given his unresolved issues from when he was younger.

I now had a short, but difficult-to-achieve laundry list. Number one try to fix my relationship with my parents, number two decide if I wanted to go back to skating at all. As much as it had a part in ruining my life it was also what made me feel like me. And number three, be with Nate and try to get over my fears with personal intimacy.

It seemed like a ridiculous list to achieve on top of everything else in my life but it would virtually fix all my problems. 

My day this far had been rushing Nate out of my window early this morning and then waiting for him to come back and get me. School was as normal as it usually was, I'd get antagonized a bit by a few people but I found it easier to shake off these days. Part of it was because Nate was by my side, but most of it was because I didn't believe I was worth getting made-fun-of anymore. 

Now I was alone in algebra, bored out of my mind and barely paying attention. I found myself distracted all the time in school. Suddenly my phone buzzes and I see a text pop up.

*Hey stranger, how about coffee tonight?*

I smile seeing the text is from Kate and quickly answer back.

*I'd like that, when and where?*

I send back feeling excited and my phone buzzes back.

*Perfect, I'll pick you up at five and we'll go to that place just down the road. Are you still staying with mister dreamboat?*

I laugh to myself slightly seeing Kate's words.

*No I'm back at home*

I say, getting almost an instant reply.

*Aw too bad, dying to hear all about it tonight though :)*

"Mrs. Petrov, are you with us?" I hear and see my teacher looking at me.

"Yes sorry." I say, lowering my eyes back to my book.

I couldn't wait now, I loved spending time with Kate and I was hoping she could give me some advice to help me with Nate and decide about skating.