The Perfect Machine: Kingdom Of Glass (GxG

27. She deserves better

I needed to go out; the sound of what was going on in the kitchen was excruciating. It was too much, and I thought for a second, I was going insane. I decide to keep guard in case Connor would appear again. I don't know if he is working with someone or if he is on his own.

I found a rifle in a locked cabinet. Let's say I am just borrowing it for now. I have been pacing back and forth on the road. So lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that it has gotten dark yet. Mary and Arthur have been in the kitchen for a while now, and it's scaring me.

Arthur's house is the only one in sight for miles, it seems. Any lights of any kind coming this way, I know it must not be good. I hope I knocked Connor out so badly he needs a day or two before he can get back on his feet. I doubt it, though. He is trained for this and has his share of experience. It's a five-year gap between us and we never had a good relationship.

My father didn't see the potential in him as he did in me. He found Connor too much like our mother. Selfish, a lack of empathy, and a lot of arrogance. Why my father loved my mother, I don't know. Maybe she was a different kind of person when they were younger. I believe the politics went straight to her head and changed her for the worse.

Connor never got over the fact that our father had more interest in me than him. He spent so much time and energy to prove his worth. I understand my brother very well, his pain and his hatred towards me. I wish it were different, though. I wish that we were closer like usual siblings tend to be.

I sigh as I sit down onto the ground and stare up at the stars that are aligned on the dark sky. It's peaceful and quiet out here. I would love to live in a place like this. Maybe run a farm, have some cattle and live everyday life. But I lost that right years ago when I decided to become what I am today.

"Harlow!" I see Harry come running towards me and I get up on my feet.

"She is going to be fine," He says with a big grin on his face. I feel all the tension in my body relax and I smile.

"Come, you can see her," He grabs my hand and pulls me after him, which makes me chuckle a bit. As we get inside the kitchen, Arthur and Mary clean up all the blood from the table and the floor.

River is lying motionless on the table still. What once was a half-naked woman is now covered with a blanket.

"She lost a lot of blood and she needs rest," Arthur tells me and I nod as I stare at her.

"Thank you," I want to reach for River's hand but stop myself from doing so.

"You can bring her up to the guest room and I will make sure she gets the blood she needs up there," Arthur lets me know as he lays his hand on my shoulder and gazes directly in my eyes for a second.

"You are not like Noah," He whispers and I watch him, confused.

"I mean, you are in a few ways, but still not the same," Arthur seems astonished as he keeps looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable," He takes his hand off my shoulder and turns away.

"Just bring her upstairs," He says, and I take the young woman into my arms. To feel her weightless body makes me swallow hard as I find my way up the stairs. Mary shows me the way to the bedroom, and I lay River into the double bed that is placed in the middle of the room in front of the window.

"She was lucky," Mary takes my attention away from River.

"If it hit her on the left side, she would have died instantly," Mary explains to me, and I could see a tear go down her cheek. I feel myself swell up as well, but I try and keep it in check.

"She cares for you, you know," She tells me, staring at me with watery eyes. My gaze drifts back down to River as I remain quiet.

"And I know you care for her as well," I clench my jaw as I close my eyes.

"I can't," I state, my voice a bit more raised than needed.

"She can't," I breathe out and rub my forehead, feeling a headache taking over.

"She deserves better," I whisper, wishing I were the better. Wishing we met under different circumstances and that I was not this person that I am.

"Maybe sometimes it's not about what we deserve, but what we need," Mary's words make me look at her, question her, but she leaves the bedroom as my thoughts swirl. Why would River need me? I don't understand. I can't possibly offer River anything. Expect pain and sorrow.

I turn as the door behind me opens, and Arthur steps inside to plug the blood transfusion to River.

"If this goes empty, come to me," He points at the blood bag, and I nod to him. He leaves the room and closes the door behind him. I pull up the chair that was set in the corner up to the bed next to River.

She lays in the bed peacefully as if she were just asleep. I have seen her sleep before; it's not easy for me to rest, knowing that I have put this beautiful woman at risk. This time I take her hand to hold. It's not often I reach for comfort. But I need something to hold on to at this very moment. Something to keep me steady.