Craving Yours-A taboo love built on an unhealthy foundation.
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It's not forbidden to want your brother's boyfriend, ok maybe it's a taboo but it's not forbidden. But its not a Taboo to want your twin brother's boyfriend, ok s...
Dae and I had been friends for a very long time. And I knew enough about her to know that she always dismissed her pain until it was unbearable. A toxic flaw that made her who she was. And a mechanism built on the idea that asking for help was a weakness. Something her parents had wrongfully drilled into her. So when Dae began to groan and writhe in her sleep I knew something was wrong.
My first instinct was to wake her up. After all, we had somehow passed out on the couch with the tv still blaring loudly. But then it dawned on me that if she was in pain now maybe the pain would increase when she was awake. So I did the only thing I could think of. I called 911.
"What's going on?" Brad asked from the doorway, clothes rumpled and eyes baggy.
"I think something is wrong with Dae."
The moment the words left my mouth Brad was beside Dae checking her temperature with the back of his hand. His shoulders were wound tight as he brushed her hair aside and patted her face gently, "Did you call an ambulance?"
"It's on its way," I said shuffling around them trying to figure out a way to help without getting in the way.
Brad was murmuring something to her as she moaned in pain and twitched within the blanket around her shoulders. I watched as she stretched out a shaky hand and clasped it around Brad's shirt. Brad just murmured a silent 'I know' before engulfing her in a tight embrace.
I rushed to open the door for the paramedics and everything was a blur of medical uniforms from there. The transportation of Dae's now weak feeble body from her house to the hospital was silent and rushed. After the paramedics refused to let me in the ambulance Brad told them I was her brother. And after a sceptical look from the paramedics, he added 'adopted'.As an explanation to the obvious.
"You look terrible," Dae said to me with a croaky voice. Her body looked pale and fragile especially now that she was lying in a hospital bed.
"I was worried. You can't just go around fainting on me, you are all I have left." I whispered holding her pale cold hand in my warm ones.
"Don't... Tell me something, anything. ."
"I have been thinking about what you said." I started grasping at any passing thought in my mind. Anything to help me Ignore the faint scent of bad luck lingering in the corners of the room and the hollow depressions now permanently etched on Dae's face.
She managed a small nod as a way to get me to proceed.
"I am going to take a trip. I don't know where I'll be going but I figured anywhere would do. After all, it's for a break right. To clear my mind so I couldn't use my mind to figure out where I am going." I laughed weakly before placing Dae's hand against my lips, "Maybe I could hang a map on the wall and throw some darts."
"You are terrible at aiming." She whispered, before choking from a weak laugh.
"Yeah, I know. Maybe I will end up in the Bermuda triangle that way." I said smiling at the barest hint of a smile that now graced her lips.
A stern-looking nurse walked in and addressed me, "Sorry. We have to take her into the OR now can you please wait in the waiting room."
"Yeah. Yeah okay," I said before turning back to Dae, "I will be waiting for you Dae. I am sure Brad wants to see you before you go so I will give him time to speak to you."
Brad shoved his way into Dae's hospital room the moment I told him.
I sunk into the cold metal chairs in the waiting room. Another reason to hate hospital rooms. My phone buzzed with yet another Mason related calendar alert. This one wasn't even an event, the alert simply said, "Hey Ugly, give me money."
I felt a smile sneak through my lips. Leave it to Mason to do stupid things that didn't suck. I used my thumb to swipe across my screen. Anything to help me forget that Dae could have died or that she still could, after all, it didn't matter whether a surgery was major or minor people could still die on the table.
I found myself staring at Darius' contact. Calling him now would be a waste of time. After all, he had made it clear how he felt about me. What good would calling him do? My thumb hovered on the delete contact option for a long time before I decided to take a look at Mason's contact.
My heart immediately jumped into overdrive as a wave of grief and sadness overwhelmed me. Mason would have known what to do. He was always happy so probably would have had some encouraging words to say to me. I thought as I pressed the dial option on his contact.
"Yo, it's Mason. Leave a message. If this is Jason Stop wallowing and do something about it. Also, I want my shirt back, I know you took it. So give it back."
Another brief smile managed to escape onto my sombre face. Mason always had the weirdest message tones. I used to my left thumb to wipe a stray tear on the right side of my face.
"How do I do something about things out of my control, Mason," I whispered into the still air, "Noone ever taught me to do this part."
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