What I'd Do For You

Chapter 31- Awake

"Shawn? Shawn where are you?" I shouted.

I heard a grunt and hurriedly opened the bathroom door. Shawn was laying on the floor with his hand on his head. My eyes widened as I realised he had woken up.

I kneeled next to him and cupped his face. "Are you okay? Why are you out of bed? How'd you even get up?" He was looking at me, but I'm not quite sure if he could see me.

"I- I wanted to- to shower." he managed to get out. "I smell." he added.

I caressed his face, I wanted to touch as much of him as I could, just to make sure he was real.

Without wasting another second, I placed my weight on my hands and knees on either side of him, and leaned in for a kiss. His lips moved slowly against mine as he struggled to lift his hand enough to touch my face. "I love you." Kiss. "So much." Kiss. "I'm so sorry." Kiss.

I finally got off him and helped him sit up.

"Sorry for what?" he asked confused.

Oh, so he didn't know...

"Well um, if you haven't noticed, there's this huge scar on your chest and you've been unconscious for the past four days."

He stared at me as if awaiting further explanation.

"Four days? Why? What happened to my chest? It's been hurting me since the second I opened my eyes." he told me, oblivious to the fact that I had caused him that pain.

I told him everything. From Luther and I's plan to kill Rodrick, to Nick's death, to the deal I had made with that asshole of a wizard before we even got here. Even the stunt he pulled on me, telling me had poisoned Shawn. I didn't leave out a single detail. And by the end of the story, I was sobbing.

"I- I did this to you! I almost killed you a-and I'm so pissed at myself about it." I held my knees close to me and buried my head in them. I couldn't look him in the eye. He's disappointed in me and I don't want to see that.

I kept apologizing, over and over until my throat began to ache. I was waiting for Shawn to tell me it was okay, but he didn't. And even if he had told me it was, I'd still know it's not. I was okay with killing someone to save Shawn's life. That will never be okay. Well, karma hit me, and it hurt like a bitch.

"I'm s-sorry." I sniffled. "But you'll forgive me right?" when he didn't reply, I looked up from my lap to him.

"Shawn are you mad at me?"

His face was unreadable as his eyes bore into the wall before him. It took me a while to notice there was a tear running down his cheek.

"No." he finally spoke up. "I'm not mad."

I approached him and kissed his tear away. "He actually killed him?" he asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

So that's why he wasn't replying. He was still processing Nick's death.

"Yes." My voice was above a whisper. I hated admitting that he was actually gone. That I was never going to see him again.

I put my head on Shawn's shoulder and he wrapped me in his embrace, placing a single kiss on my hair.

After what felt like an hour of silence, he cleared his throat, "I'm going to take a shower."

I helped him up started unbuttoning his shirt. The scar on his body had gotten much better, but it was still very visible. The sight of it made me want to cry again, and I did.

With tears running down my face, I placed a kiss on the injury. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Hey hey, why are you crying? I'm not mad at you baby." he cooed in my ear. He wiped my tears away gently, then placed a kiss on the tip of my nose.

"B-but-"

"Tell you what?" he spoke again. "You help me shower and we'll forget anything ever happened. Deal?"

I nodded before I began taking his pants off. Once he was fully naked, he stepped in the shower and I turned the water on.

"Sit." I ordered as I tied my hair.

"Huh?"

"Sit down. I got this." He looked hesitant but sat down anyway.

I began scrubbing his scalp with the shampoo they settled in our room and he closed his eyes.

When his hair was done, I started cleaning his body, making sure not to put any pressure on his chest.

When we were done, I got him a towel and he dried himself off. "Is this how we're going to bathe Shawn junior?" he was grinning, eyes focusing on my stomach.

"Hey, it could be an Emma junior." I protested.

"Or a Kevin." He muttered under his breath. And that quickly ruined our mood.