With You (Namjoon ff)

Chapter 32

Meanwhile in the living room:

Yoongi was fast asleep on the couch and Hoseok was using his phone while the maknae line and Jin were watching Spirited Away on Netflix. They were really focused when Jin got a notification.

Jin: Namjoon said the blankets are in Y/N's room.

Jimin: I'll go get them.

Taehung: Okay.

Jimin walked up to your room and twisted the knob to open the door. What he saw next left him astounded. He went to the boys.

Jungkook: Where are the blankets? And why are you giggling?

Jimin's giggling got so loud that it caught Hosoek's attention and woke Yoongi up.

Yoongi: What's going on?

Jimin: Just follow me but don't make any noise.

Jin: You are making the most noise here.

Jimin: Owwh! Sorry, follow me.

They all followed Jimin to your room and were surprised at the scene in front of them. Jin's mouth formed an 'O', Taehyung raised his eyebrows, Jungkook stifled a laugh, Hoseok's eyes were wide open and Yoongi was fully awake now as Jimin tried to control his giggles.

Namjoon's arms were wrapped around your body as yours were wrapped around him. His head was on top of yours as you rested yours on his chest. Your leg was wrapped around his torso. It was an interesting sight to see, atleast for the boys.

Jimin: I'm taking a picture.

Hoseok: They look cute together.

Taehyung: Namjoon hyung stole my idea and cuddled her.

Jungkook: Jimin hyung take a close up too.

They snickered as Jimin went closer to you and took another picture. But all those sounds woke Namjoon up. He opened his eyes to see all the boys standing around the bed. He looked at them as they fell silent. He turned to look at you and was surprised to see you peacefully sleeping on his chest and his hands wrapped around your body. He gently removed his arms from your body and your leg from his torso. He immediately gave you a pillow to hug and gently placed your head down on the mattress.

Yoongi: What are you doing?

Namjoon: I can't sleep on her bed.

Yoongi: But what if she wakes up and needs someone like earlier, she couldn't even speak.

Namjoon: I don't think she will wake up anytime soon. She is a heavy sleeper. Let's go, we'll talk in the living room.

They all followed Namjoon to the living room but Yoongi stayed behind. He looked at you for a while and patted your head.

Yoongi: Sleep well, kitten.

You caught his hand and hugged it as he smiled. He gently removed his hand and looked at you one last time before closing the door and leaving.

The next morning you woke up and laid in bed using your phone. Something wasn't right. Were you forgetting something? That's when you remembered the events of the previous night. What's up with the mornings that you forget things? You rushed to the living room only to find it empty with the blankets neatly folded on the couch.

Y/N: They must've left early.

Well considering the fact that you woke up at 11 am didn't provide much evidence that they might've left "early".

You felt bad that they had come to your house but instead of getting some rest they had to take care of you. You remembered how Namjoon cuddled you making the blood rise to your cheeks. Suddenly you got a message. It was from Namjoon.

*message*

Namjoon: Don't forget to take painkillers.

You typed a quick reply.

Y/N: I won't, thanks.

You tried to stop yourself from smiling. Don't smile, don't smile, don't smile! What has gotten into you? Are you perhaps falling in....NO! Well you were in love with him for years now but it was always one sided and you never knew that you would actually meet him. But now that he was here, were you willing to trust him? Didn't you already trust him and allow yourself to be vulnerable around him? You let him come close to you. And now you're falling even deeper in love with him. You took on a path you can't return from. Now you would just have to go further and see for yourself if he was really worth your trust, or if you made a mistake by letting your walls down. Was it finally the time where you would be free from the burdens you had carried all your life? Well there is only one way to find out and it is to move ahead. Despite of the fear of getting hurt you were still willing to give him a chance because you loved him very much and it was clear to you now. Your favourite author C. S. Lewis had quoted, "To love at all is to be vulnerable", which meant if you were opening your heart to love someone, you were letting them see the real you and there were possibilities of you getting hurt. All your life you steered away from relationships because of your fear of getting hurt.

You were a small child when all you saw was your parents fighting each day. When you were a teenager, your father left you, your mom and your sister for another woman. Three years later he came back and after a lot of repenting you finally forgave him. And that's how the seeds of your fear were sowed. It was the only example of love in front of you which made you learn wrong things about love. After your father left, you started developing trust issues. Your friends would only use you for their needs and your mother and sister were fighting their own internal battles so you didn't know whom to go to anymore. Eventually you learned to keep all of it inside. You found some genuine friends but you still left that place and came to Korea to work your dream job. In the beginning you avoided people but then Jiho came into your life and made you forget the pain you had locked inside of you.

And now you were finally ready to trust someone else apart from Jiho. You still had doubts whether Namjoon would love you back and accept you the way you are because this was your dark past that even Jiho didn't know of. This past brought you a lot of trauma and getting lost in crowds and feeling alone and abandoned was the reason for your fear of crowds. The reason why you couldn't stop beating Jason that day was because he said the words your father always used against you. "You never fight" was what he always said to you whenever you opened up to him since you had no one else. But trusting your father made you close up even more because his behavior reminded you why you shouldn't trust people. And at times like these when you would get triggered you would get angry and do anything to prove your father wrong even if he wasn't here with you. Always flinching and pushing people away when they tried to touch you was your auto-response due to the fear of attachment. You never dated because you feared getting attached to the wrong person. There were so many other fears inside of you which kept you from believing in love. But this time you were ready to put your fears aside and let your heart love Namjoon as much as it wanted.

You smiled heaving a sigh, determined not to cage you heart anymore and accept your feelings without denying them as you went to make yourself some breakfast.