For a Moment at Least (Age Gap)

Chapter 35

Chapter 35
(Trigger warning for anyone sensitive to assault)

It's been four days. I've learned to close my eyes and think of other things, happier things. I thought about my ceremony, the way Deacon looked in his suit. I thought about how gentle Deacon was when he took my virginity. The way his hands felt my body as if it would be the last time he'd ever touch my skin.

I wanted to go home to him. To fall asleep next to him. I didn't realize how used to him I was. Overall I tried staying as calm and collected as I could. I didn't want any extra stress on this child. It wasn't even born yet and I felt like it already had trauma to process.

Sam crossed my mind a lot, but I didn't like thinking about him much. It made me sad, and that's the last thing I wanted to be in here.

Food has been lacking, Alice snuck me what she could. I was never hungry anyway but I knew I should probably be feeding this baby. Bathroom sink water and slices of bread weren't going to cut it. I felt gross stuck in the same clothes for this long. I washed my underwear in the sink twice already, however my lack of toothbrush left a terrible film in my mouth.

I could tell they were upset with my telling Deacon about our whereabouts. I was somewhat happy that I was still here. That meant Deacon didn't surrender to get me home. He was planning something. Another reason why I tried my best to keep myself at ease was because of him, because of his ability to feel my emotions. He knew I was okay.

"James stop!" I heard Alice's voice shout from behind the door. I quickly sat up from the small bed bracing myself for his entrance. There was complete silence before he barged in slamming the door shut behind him.

My heart sank being in this room alone with him. He looked exhausted, his shoulders hunched together carrying all of his stress. I slowly sat down to the bed.

"I'd like to hurt you. But I can't." He chuckled menacingly, raising his gaze to meet mine. I shivered seeing the yellow in his eyes. My confidence had dissipated. Being alone in this room for days had broken down my mental strength. I hadn't realized it until now. I feared James more than ever.

He sauntered closer, glancing around the room refusing to let his eyes meet mine again. I scooted away from him slightly, needing space from him.

He scratched the stubble on his cheeks before glancing at my legs, letting his stare wander up my body till he settled on my face. I looked away before any expression of mine could set him off. He seemed different, more willing to put hands on me.

"I wanted to torture you." He admitted, coming closer. I cowered as he finally made his way in front of me, still remaining silent.

"Instead Cornell insisted on this cozy room."  He mocked before leaning down to put himself eye level with me. I finally built up the courage to look at him. It was then that I smelt the alcohol on him. The scent turned my stomach.

"I wasn't entirely let down when I heard you were without child." He whispered. I furrowed my brows at him. He smiled a glanced down to my lips. I felt like I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Then instead of killing you, I might get the chance of putting my own child inside you. Now that would be true torture." He breathed. I felt the bile in my stomach creeping up at the thought of it.

"It would drive Deacon insane, he'd be disgusted just looking at you. Knowing I had you the same way he has." He kept on. I closed my eyes and tried standing to get away from him. He quickly pulled me back down by my arms. My heart was racing, I'd rather he hit me than ever touch me in that way.

"You can share your body with Samuel and Deacon but not me?" He teased letting a sick smirk grow on his fatigued face. He was more drunk than I thought.