44: Shijie... A-Zhan... Or Gege?

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The sun was sinking fast. Through the snowfall, a gentle multi-coloured light shot across the sky, a bridge between Heaven and Earth. The silver butterflies fluttered around the rainbow, watching their sleeping friend. Wei Wuxian, wrapped in a red inner robe Sizhui had sent him long ago, but not covered warmly enough, had curled up into a ball on the grass and fallen asleep. While his mind was asleep, his body was not: it kept shivering in the cold.

Nor was his heart at rest, silent tears endlessly trickling out of the shut eyelids.

His husband hadn't come to him all day yesterday when Hua Cheng first sent the butterflies, so he had waited again the next day. It was still morning when Wei Wuxian had been forced to fall asleep because of the frosty snow drenching his robes. He was so fast asleep he didn't hear someone approaching him.

The visitor silently knelt down beside him. Taking the large massive coat in his hand, the somebody wrapped it around the sleeping Immortal, tenderly tucking the furry collar into his neck and ears.

As the warmth shot through Wei Ying's body, Wei Ying smiled softly in his sleep.

"Shijie..." he snuggled up to the person.

Dreamily lying his head on the unexpected guest's lap, he cuddled into the familiar feel and small of the robes. He was too asleep to notice, but his body breathed in the fragrance and warmed up as a wistful smile spread on the dozing face.

A gentle hand lay on his shoulder, stroking him back to deep sleep. Wei Wuxian's own hand shot to the caressing touch and gripped the palm. "A-Zhan..."

No sound. Gripping the hand tight, sighing into the person's lap, he mumbled in his sleep, "Or is this gege?"

Without waiting for a reply, he drifted off again. 

**********

Wei Wuxian woke up to find both day and night had passed by. Why had A-Zhan not shown up? No, he was delaying things. He had to get it done with. He stood up.

Thud! He turned around to see a heavy cotton wool coat tumble to the floor.

"When did this get here?" He wondered, scratching his head as the first ray of sunlight shot up from behind the mountain range. Slowly, the warmth from last night came to him.

Someone had come to him, wrapped him in a coat, and lulled him to sleep on his or her lap. He recalled feeling a wonderful familiarity. "Was it Shijie..." He thought of the gentle touch. Then he remembered the robes. "A-Zhan... Or gege?" Shrugging with an affectionate smile, he picked the coat up. It wasn't one he was really used to, it was a brand new winter coat. No mark or emblem at all. Just warm white velvety wool.

"I'll ask gege," he thought. "It's time," he looked up at the butterflies still fluttering around. "You guys can go back. I'm going too." He waved as the butterflies fluttered up to the still dark sky. The sun had yet to rise.

Staring up at the threads of clouds drifting across the sky, Wei Wuxian let the never-ending tears drip down. If there was a world behind the clouds... I'll sprout wings and fly away... Fly away to a world where it's always a not-too-warm spring full of beautiful magnolia and a not-too-cold winter with tons of snow... Make all the snowmen I like... Toss snowballs to Mum and Dad and A-Zhan...

A-Zhan... Where is he?

Mum, Dad, is he with you? Why do you guys keep leaving me? First it was you, then Jiang Shushu, then Shijie... Now A-Zhan...

And now I have to leave my sweet sons... A-Yuan, I broke him once... And I'm breaking him again... Mum, Dad, why am I like you?

Shijie... Was it you who sent the coat? Why... Why did you have to go? If A-Zhan left but at least you stayed, maybe I won't be this–

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