This Is My Life ; With Colby Brock

Part 8:// Relax

Y/N's POV:
I've been staying with Colby and everyone else for about 2 weeks. I feel better than i did before. My head doesn't hurt and hasn't hurt for a couple of days. Colby had still been right by my side no matter what. But after the first night, i didn't want to invade his personal space in his bedroom so when he falls asleep, i go to the living room and sleep on the couch so he has his bed to himself. I love sleeping next to him because it's super relaxing, but i don't want to just come and invade his space. I miss my home. Don't get me wrong, i love being here. I love the guys, and Kat of course, we have really bonded the few weeks i've been here. But i've slept in my bed once since we moved here. I wanna go home so i can give everyone a break from worrying about me. Colby was still sleeping. Yet again it was only 1am. So i quickly grabbed a pair of his grey sweatpants and an XPLR hoodie, since i was still in my pajamas, and i went to the bathroom quietly. I slowly slipped of my pajama pants and my pajama shirt, i was just left in my bra and panties. I slipped the sweatpants over my legs, they were still bruised but they're fading, and i put on the hoodie. After i put his clothes on, i threw my hair up in a messy bun. I grabbed everything that i had here, and brought it all out to my car with me. I knew i couldn't just leave like this without saying something. i quickly walked back inside and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, i wrote:

Colby, Thank you so much for keeping me safe, for making me feel protected, and for taking care of me. I'm leaving because i don't want to keep invading your guys space. This is your guys' home, i shouldn't be here and take over and have everyone worry about me.. I'm just a regular fan, just like everyone else. I have always looked up to you as someone i wanted to be with and start a family with. I knew it would never happen though, only in my wildest dreams. In the little time we have known each other, you have showed me that you care. I know you don't catch feelings for fans. You love them, but not in THAT way. But me being with you, and seeing who you truly are.. Ugh that made me fall for you, so fucking hard. And i don't want to keep falling for you because no one like you would see a girl like me, in that way. So again, Thank you Colby. Thank everyone else for me. Please. I love you guys. You guys mean the world to me. I hope we can talk again someday, don't forget about me. <3. ~Y/N         p.s. i have your hoodie and sweatpants & you're not getting them back, i love them. they remind me of you <3

As i wrote that, i had tears in my eyes. I didn't want to leave but i couldn't keep invading their space.. And not only that.. Colby had me falling in love. Which is a scary thing for me. With how my relationship went with Noah.. I truly don't know what to do. So in order for me to stop falling harder, i had to leave. Especially because i know he doesn't feel the same way about me. I'm just a regular girl.. After reminiscing in my thoughts for about 25 minutes, i slowly folded the paper, and wrote "Colby<3" and brought it up to his room. Once i got up there; i carefully set it on top of his phone so he will see it in the morning when he wakes up. i then looked at him. Fuck this is going to be a hard thing to do.. He looks so peaceful. He's so damn handsome. Now after tonight. We may never talk again. He will probably just forget about me and move on. But i could never forget about him. I love him. I started rubbing his cheek since this may be the last time i ever touch him. His soft skin. I kissed his cheek, i've always wanted to, but never had the courage. I didn't want to weird him out. But i knew i couldn't leave without doing it. I would regret it. Then right after, i whispered in his ear, in hopes he could hear me but also not hear me at the same time. "I love you Colby Brock". After i has done what i had to, i had turned away, and slowly opened his bedroom door. I had walked down the hallways and took a left to go down the stairs. As i was walking down the stairs, i began to rethink my choice. No, i have to do this. I have to. I continued to walk down the stairs and slowly opened the front door. As soon as i stepped out, i turned around, looking at the house one more time, because who knew if i would ever be here again. And closed the door. I then grabbed my car keys out of the hoodie pocket and unlocked my car door. I got in my car and started driving home. It was hard to do since i didn't know the place well so i had to pull over for a minute to put it on my GPS. Once i got it, i started driving again. "Ugh. I miss him already. I miss everyone already. They treated me so well, and i'm leaving like this. I hope they don't hate me.. I love them" i thought to myself. I couldn't get Colby out of my head. No matter what i did. after about 10 minutes of driving, i saw my house. I had slowly parked my car in the garage. One i had gotten out of my car, i went up to the door and unlocked it. I walked in, and everything was dark. "Momma? Momma you home?" i said loud and clear so she can hear me in case she was home. After a few minutes of turning lights on, no one answered me. So i walked around the house and up to her room. No one. She's still not back. Shes probably staying with my grandma. Or something...

A/N: HELLOOOOO!! if you're reading my book, and you like it so far, share with your friends! I am still learning how to do this stuff but writing, puts my mind at ease. Let me know how it is so far !!
           THANK YOU! ~btheunknown