Deviant

thirty one

~Am I real?~

Unlocking the door of my apartment, my mind was still full of what Mingyu had told me.
My stomach twisted as I repeated his words in my head again and again.

I bit my lip. So many questions making their way into my head.
But as soon as I stepped inside my bedroom searching for Jungkook, my purse dropped down to the floor, my lips parted, in the next second forgetting everything else as my eyes landed on the boy I was searching for.

Jungkook's eyes widened in shock, seeing me looking at him.  In other words, seeing himself caught by me, he quickly, like a reflex, tried to gather and hide everything behind his back. Like that would work.

But after two seconds he gave up, his cheeks becoming pink from embarrassment as he dropped his gaze down playing with his fingers.

"I am sorry.  I promise that I will clean everything up. Everything will be in no time at their places. I actually made sure to memorize from where I took them."

I bit my lip to blood. Why would he think that I would be upset?  How could anyone be upset over this?
Tears gathered in my eyes as I was digging into everything that was displayed before my eyes.
A Jungkook sitting on the white carpet, in the middle of my room. Legs crossed as he was surrounded by all my books, CDs, albums with me and my family, pictures, and other meaningless things.

I swallowed trying with all my might to not actually go there and grab, hug and kiss the hell out of him.
My bad boy was so sweet at that moment. So flustered and lost. His gaze pinned on his hands as he was chewing his bottom lip ashamed.

"You don't have to apologize. I am not mad, upset, or anything. Actually, I am happy seeing you so curious about my life." I somehow managed to speak normally as I approached him.

Jungkook lifted his head, confusion was all I could see in his eyes as he was looking up at me. It was like he expected me to yell at him, or anything else but not how I was reacting. And once again I understood how his parents must have been with him.
Did they yell at him?  Did they beat him?

"What were you reading before I interrupted you? " I asked as I moved some books out of my way before sitting down on the carpet next to him. Then my eyes landed on the open book which was laying somewhere close to his right knee.
I picked it up and ran my gaze across the cover. Then I threw a glance at Jungkook.

"I... "

He couldn't speak as he swallowed harshly avoiding my gaze.
'Persons with mental problems' was written onto the cover, and my chest tightened at his lost expression.

Why did this stupid book had to be in my library? 

But did he actually understand the book?  He had read more than half of it. And it has a lot of medical words. A person who isn't used to the terms, can't actually comprehend anything. Then to my surprise, he stood up and started to pick up some books, then arrange them. My books and everything were now in their place. Even the albums.  And they were many. He must have memorized them by their cover colors.
But even so, he had a great memory.

Once again I concluded that he was smart. I was aware of that from the first moment our eyes locked. But I didn't know that he was that smart.
"Did you understand the book you just read? "

He didn't answer though. His eyes stopped in mine the moment he finished arranging everything he took back at their places.
Then he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes empty as he seemed to be thinking about something.
I pulled out my phone and stood up from the floor. Sitting next to him on the bed, I placed the phone in his hand and pushed the earphones into his ears.
"I am sure you wanted to listen to some music.  So here." I smiled as our eyes locked. Then he stared at the phone in his hand. I was sure that he was familiar with phones, but maybe not with an iPhone. Because he was staring at it like he had no idea what it was.