Deviant

ten

~ Special ~

Jungkook opened the door, looked your way, and sighed seeing you still curled up in a ball on the bed.
He knew you were crying because of the way your body was shaking underneath that damn blanket.

He closed the door behind him with a click, making you aware that you weren't alone anymore.
He didn't want to come and see you like that. But at the same time, he couldn't pretend that he hadn't hurt you.

"Whoever is there, you better get out or I'll rip your head off your shoulders, " you threatened.

Jungkook smiled.
" Please do. If this makes you feel better. "

You stiffened at the hearing of his gentle voice and his steps approaching you. Then your eyes widened as he sat down next to you and wrapped his arms around your form.

"Don't touch me, " you protested weakly trying to push him away.

"Liar. You want me to touch you. "

Jungkook shut his eyes and tightened his arms around your now trembling body. Then he placed a soft kiss on the top of your covered head.

"I am sorry for disappointing you. I assumed I would never see you.  That our paths would never cross again. And when I saw you I just couldn't tell you. I couldn't look into your eyes and see how much I am disappointing you, after what you have done for me..."

"Do you see me as you see them? " You whispered as you wrapped your arms around his waist, gripping his shirt tightly, searching his chest to bury your face in it.

Jungkook smiled at your cuteness. So easy. He thought to himself. Why are you so kind and accept me so fast? Even when I am not doing anything for you.

"No. Of course not. "

"What are you thinking? How come you change like this? Before, you couldn't be this close to anyone. You despised everything that implied skinship.  And now it isn't like that anymore.
Are they one with you? "

"It still disgusts me. But at the same time, I need it. It's hard to explain. It's like it's in my blood, " Jungkook said as he caressed your head gently.

So, they are one. This is him. All of them were a part of who he was. That meant that he took this habit from that annoying side of his. But back then he could abstain himself because he couldn't do it knowing me sad, he even told me that he loved me.

Flashback.

"Why did you come back so fast? I thought that you... ", you couldn't finish. The moment his eyes met your eyes again, you couldn't formulate one word. You started to tremble the moment his fingertips came in contact with the smooth skin of your cheek, even now feeling it burning under his touch.

"You are blushing every time. " Jungkook smiled sweetly under your shocked and embarrassed figure. Then he laughed softly seeing you become suddenly silent and uncomfortable. He could even hear your breathing changing its pace.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. The way I left you behind, so disappointed after you told me that what I felt about you wasn't love, I couldn't take my mind off you. So, I came back. You seemed hurt. I couldn't fuck anyone in those circumstances."

---------------

"But my mind is sick as well. I am aware of that. I know I am not normal. But there's nothing I can do about it. This is me. This is who I am. And I can't help it. Everything that I do, seems normal to me. It doesn't feel wrong, or right. It's just normal. And I can't control my impulses.
I am bad. I know sweetie. Trust me, I know deep inside me somewhere, like I said, my brain doesn't function normally. And I know you are aware of this as well. But you stubbornly still risked everything by keeping me here with you, in your house. You must be frightened, and I wouldn't blame you. After all, when I lose my mind, I can become dangerous. And my question is... Why? Why are you willing to risk your own life for a stranger? A criminal with mental problems who could kill you any time? Maybe in your sleep without you even being conscious of what is happening to you. What are you doing you, stupid girl? What are you doing with your life? "

End of flashback

Your eyes softened as you pulled him closer. He was remembering you of that side of his you first fell in love with.

Why are you here? Has Mingyu sent you?"

"No. I wanted to see you. It was my choice. No one can make me do anything I don't want."

"Do you want me to leave and never come back? "

"No, but... If you remain, it will be bad for you. " He answered as he took the blanket from you and spread it on the floor. Now you were looking at each other without uttering a word.

"I will stay if you will never lie to me."

Jungkook smiled sadly as he brushed his fingers across your cheek.
"And...? It must be more, right Y/N? Come on. Be selfish for once in your life."

You bit your lip as a flush colored your cheeks under his intense gaze. "I don't want to see you with Jennie. You can leave the house and do it with whoever you want if you can't help it. But I don't want to know about it."

"And never touch me again... In that way."

Jungkook laughed sweetly at that.
A delicious shiver raced along your spine as he traced a line from your neck down your collarbone, all the way to your hip with his finger.
The heat of his gaze warmed you. A fire burned in your veins as he leaned forward and kissed the side of your neck.
"Even if you want it? "

"Yes. Not everything is about sex." You closed your eyes and held your breath at the feeling of his fingers closing around your wrists.
"If you don't want me to hate you. If you will choose to fuck around with people, then you will never try to have me. I will never give myself to you. Don't take my feelings for you for granted. No matter how crazy I am about you, I will never give in. "

You opened your eyes and looked in his dark ones, full of determination.

Jungkook bit his lip, his eyes now analyzing your mouth. After a few seconds of complete silence, his lips twitched at the corners.
"Are you sure there is nothing left to change your mind? As I said, I feel nothing towards them. It's just an act Y/N. Sex is... such a normal thing to do. "

You raised your eyebrows at that. You had heard that before.
That annoying playboy.

"But with you, it would be different" he added as his hands grabbed your waist firmly. "Because you are special.
Because when it comes to you... My heart gives me headaches."